Anna Maria Locke

mindset

3 steps to setting intentional goals for 2020

2020Anna Locke
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Happy new year!

Every January I get a rush of fresh energy and the urge to look at the big open blank canvas of the calendar stretching before me, and fill it up with ideas and plans and goals.

I labeled 2019 the Year of the Baby since Thomas was born in August, so the entire year was consumed by pregnancy, recovering from childbirth, and getting to know our little guy and my new role as a mother. I’m very grateful I had the freedom and flexibility to focus most of my time and energy on this experience and be as present as possible for it, because the transition into motherhood is seriously intense in every definition of the word!

Now that we’re finding our groove (and sleeping more), I’m finally feeling out of survival mode with a little bit of extra creative energy to burn, and feel incredibly excited about the possibilities of the new year. I’m ready to get back into my work as a life coach and business mentor for my Beachbody team, and stretch myself in new ways. To be honest, it’s a huge relief that I finally don't have to think about getting pregnant, being pregnant, giving birth, or surviving the 4th trimester. Feels like a literal and figurative weight off my life!

How are you feeling?

Maybe a little discouraged that you didn’t accomplish as much in 2019 as you hoped? 

Maybe proud of yourself for hitting some big goals, but a little deflated as we cycle onward, like what now

Maybe like me, navigating a major life transition or starting something new.

Maybe you are hopeful and optimistic.

Maybe you’re overwhelmed and drained.

You’re probably an ambitious, driven, high achiever who craves purpose and alignment with your values, and maybe you’re faced with a situation in life, relationships, or work where you’re feeling unaligned and ready for big change, but are afraid to commit and dive in.

Deep breath.

While looking ahead at what you want to accomplish this year, it’s important to be intentional when setting realistic yet inspiring goals so we can meet ourselves where we’re at and be sure to actually follow through.

I’ve been using the same process I share with my life coaching clients to set intentions and heart centered goals for 5 or 6 years now. I say “process” very loosely, because it is such a personal thing and really can’t be distilled into a nice simple cookie cutter system. In fact, I am challenging myself to avoid coaches and experts who preach “systems” these days, because what works for them may or may not work for you. And we all deserve to feel successful as we grow and expand this year!

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Here’s my loose 3 step framework for setting heart centered, intentional goals:

1. Ask: How do you want to feel?

A few years ago I discovered Danielle LaPorte’s The Desire Map system and instantly fell in love with the radical approach to setting goals based on core desired feelings instead of achievements.

Behind all our intentions and dreams is a desire to feel a certain way.

How will you feel when you lose 20 pounds? Start your business? Move across the country? Deepen your relationship with your partner? Pay off your debt?

When you’re clear on how you want to feel, you’ll gain clarity on what you need to do to move into that feeling, and might even find yourself adjusting your goal to be more aligned with the person you want to become. It also takes the pressure off and allows us to enjoy the process, since we can always control how we feel. YES, I promise! Don’t wait until you’ve achieved your goal to practice feeling how you want to feel, and the end result will feel a lot closer and easier to reach.

2. Know yourself

The more you know about yourself and how you’re wired, the easier it will be to figure out what you need to do or shift in order to feel fulfilled. Because ultimately, isn’t that the whole point of goal setting in the first place? It’s not a race to see how much we can accomplish or achieve before we die. It’s about living as fully as we can! Really living. Not living to get to the next step, but enjoying where we are in this season or stage of the journey.

I recommend seeking out a coach, friend, personality typing system that intrigues you, and be  a lifelong learner of yourself.

But for now, trust that the years you’ve already lived have provided you with all the wisdom and insight you need.

Here are a few questions to think about or journal through:

  • What are your typical sabotaging thoughts?

  • How do you hold yourself back?

  • What kinds of goals have you failed to reach? (Hint: stop setting those kinds of goals)

  • What motivates and inspires you? (Hint: follow that path)

  • What challenges you to grow?

  • What is actually FUN for you?

For example, don’t set a goal to run a marathon if you actually hate running. This sounds obvious, right? But sometimes we get blindsided and swept up in other people’s enthusiasms without pausing to ask ourselves if it’s something we want to do.

Maybe you love structure and routine and setting a detailed plan then crushing it.

Maybe having a plan actually triggers you into self sabotage because you need more freedom and flexibility.

Maybe you love the actual process of goal setting, but are turned off by in-depth tracking systems or action plans, and just need a monthly or quarterly check-in with your bigger picture (this is me!)

Know yourself and how you operate!

This also allows you to start with your “why”. Your belief systems. The foundation behind everything you do. No more second guessing yourself!

If you want more guidance in digging a little deeper into your values and beliefs, you can download my free Create an Inspired Year goal setting journal guide in my resource vault here!

3. Differentiate between ACTION and OUTCOME based goals

We live in a culture that overemphasizes outcomes and achievements, getting things done and being as productive as possible.

This leads to a lot of dissatisfaction and disconnection. We are dissatisfied because in our race for more, we aren’t allowing ourselves to enjoy what we already have. We are disconnected from our intuition and heart nudges, from our relationships, from nature. It all leads to burnout, mental health issues, failing relationships, the destruction of the environment if you want to zoom out.

But if you zoom all the way in, what I’m most passionate about studying and healing is our disconnection to ourselves.

What does this disconnection look like? Lack of boundaries, self love, self trust, eating disorders, mood disorders. Chronically feeling like we are never good enough. Physical health issues.

When we reclaim our connection to ourselves, we reclaim our power.

But in order to do that, we have to stop listening to the noise around us, stop comparing ourselves to what everyone else is doing, and start tuning in. We have to have faith. We have to trust that we are good enough. That it’s safe to slow down. We have to practice radical self care. We have to risk our family, friends, coworkers not understanding or supporting the changes we are making. 

We have to basically be counter-cultural.

What does that actually look like in practice?

One way to overcome addiction to achievement and start to feel more aligned (workaholism = attaching sense of identity and worth to external achievements, recognition and productivity) is to bring awareness to outcome vs action goals.

OUTCOME GOAL: lose 10 pounds

ACTION GOAL: move my body 30 mins a day in a way that feels good

We have less control over outcomes, so it’s easy to feel like we’re constantly failing.

Actions are things we can mark as either done or not done. By focusing on actions, we start to build a sense of self trust by following through on our word to ourselves. We can also quickly realize if our outcome goals we want are actually something we want! Maybe you are failing to reach an outcome goal because you aren’t ready or wiling to take the actions necessary to reach it. That’s ok. This is how we align with ourselves, by letting go of actions and related outcomes that don’t actually feel good. 

What works for someone else doesn’t have to work for you.

This is FREEDOM! Permission to stop comparing yourself to anyone else.

Final thoughts

Remember that every finish line is another starting line. We’re constantly changing and evolving, and life is always changing around us. Embrace the uncertainty and release your expectations that things “should” happen in a certain timeline, and allow your goals to evolve and grow with you.

Lets put less emphasis on achieving or checking boxes off a list or nailing our “SMART goals” and more emphasis on feeling happy and fulfilled, right here today, in the life we’ve created for ourselves. Because wherever you are right now, even if you are dissatisfied or unhappy, is a product of all the decisions you’ve made up until this moment in your life.

If you want to change your reality, change the daily decisions you are making. You don’t have to make big bold moves. Tiny micro shifts will point you in a whole new trajectory if you just give yourself the gift of time.

And don’t forget to celebrate how far you’ve already come :)

You’ve got this!

xo Anna




How to overcome the fear of judgment and be unapologetically true to yourself

2019Anna Locke
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Earlier this summer I shared a blog post on the two basic fears that pop up for all entrepreneurs as we start to launch ourselves and our work... but I never told you how to actually get over yourself. Until now! :)

Anytime we go out of our comfort zone or navigate a new life transition, we make ourselves emotionally vulnerable and that opens up a lot of fear.

One of the main fears that my clients (and I) struggle with is the fear of judgment.

“What will people think?”

The only way to truly overcome a fear is to move through it with action and prove to yourself that it holds no power over you.

But sometimes we need to build up our courage and confidence first and this is where a little self coaching comes in.

Today I'm sharing a quick and powerful tool for immediately diffusing fear of judgment or overly caring what other people think.

This will make you uncomfortable. It’s safe to get uncomfortable, in fact it’s the only way to grow and evolve as a human.

But first - the backstory of why this topic is so personal to me!!

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This picture was taken last Thursday. I was riding in the car with my friends Amanda and Anna, on our way to Indianapolis for Beachbody Coach Summit, blasting Disney tunes and singing at the top of our lungs.

What do you see?

Three girls on a road trip having fun, right?

Well, that’s pretty much the truth, but a picture is worth a thousand words and captured in this image I see so many things I used to hold fear of judgment around:

-being part of a network marketing company
-singing out loud in front of other people
-reaching out to strangers on Instagram and inviting them into my business
-opening my heart and making new friends as an adult
-being my quirky spazzy emotional introverted self

If I had let my fears stop me, I wouldn’t be here today: 5 years into my business, 9 months into a healthy active pregnancy, about to be able to stay at home with my baby and still earn income online, able to travel all over anytime I want to attend personal development and leadership events with inspiring people, part of a community of positive and ambitious women who support me and share my vision..

I think it’s completely normal to care about what other people think of you, because humans are pretty judge-y. Plus going through a major life transition or launching an authentic, heart centered business is the ultimate act in vulnerability and it IS going to feel uncomfortable. So get used to it babe! It’s all part of the game. Not a sign that something is wrong.

What IS wrong is if you let your fear of what other people will think hold you back from living true to your heart (per the Mulan song) and making life decisions on your own terms.

Ready to get out of your own way? Here is what I do:

How to diffuse fear of judgment in 10 minutes or less

  • Take out a pen and paper and make a list of names: who SPECIFICALLY are you afraid is going to judge you?

  • If it’s random strangers on the internet: let them go! You don’t even know them.

  • If it’s family or  friends:

    • What specifically do you think they judging you for?

    • Does their opinion matter?

    • Does their judgment change what you believe in, or the mission you’re sharing with your business?

  • Maybe you’ll realize there is no one at all, and you’re actually only judging yourself because you don't really believe in yourself yet, in which case it's time to get clear on your mission and purpose!

Self awareness is the biggest step you can take in getting out of your own way.

The world needs you to show up and shine!

xo Anna

p.s. click here to sign up for my weekly encouragement and free resources!

Common Fears to Expect While Growing Your Business

2019Anna Locke
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It takes what I call COURAGEOUS AUTHENTICITY to build a heart centered business that's an expression of who you are, because it forces us to (A) figure out who we are in the first place and (B) get super vulnerable and bare our souls to the internet and world !!

In my 5 years of online business I've realized that we all deal with pretty much the exact same fears: fear of rejection, judgment, failure, success, no one signing up for our stuff, not ever finishing what we start...

There’s a difference between what I consider legit fear (e.g. danger or harm coming to you or someone you care about) versus irrational fear (what our ego or crazybrain considers danger, but won’t actually put us in harms way).

The way we evolved, our instinctual brain can’t tell the difference between being chased by a knife wielding stranger down a dark alley, and going out of our comfort zone to do something we’ve never done before. Our fear instinct sends DANGER warnings to our nervous system in either case, and we react accordingly.

In the second scenario, whenever we go out of our comfort zone we’re placing ourselves at risk of failure, judgment, increased visibility, which are uncomfortable to our ego that just wants us to fit in and play small.

So are you going to run or hide? Or is your adult, logical, rational truth brain going to override your instincts and remind you that you are indeed safe, even if personal growth is uncomfortable?

Almost all of our “irrational” fears can be traced back to one of two core fears:

  1. Fear of not being loved/accepted

  2. Fear of not being enough

For me, the former manifests in trying not to rock the boat, trying to be strong and not show emotions, taking care of everyone but feeling guilty for having my own needs and desires. A sense of isolation and being separate or different.

The second manifests in crippling perfectionism and overwhelm paralysis, feeling like I will never be able to fulfill my potential. Like I’m always failing to reach my own expectations. A sense of anxiety and lack.

I sent a poll out to my Courageously Authentic Women in Biz community and they responded with similar fears too, which I could easily trace back to the core two fears of not being loved, not being enough, or a little of both.

Do any of these sound familiar to you?

I AM NOT LOVED (fear of rejection) … this could also be the flip of not enough: being TOO MUCH.

  • What people will think?

  • I’ll fail and push people away.

  • Being open and vulnerable will lead to being misunderstood or judged.

  • What if no one else will want to join me?

  • Fear of judgment or rejection.

  • Fear of success!

I AM NOT ENOUGH

  • I will never attract paying clients.

  • I feel incapable and unworthy.

  • I’m afraid of failing.

  • I’m afraid of not being enough.

  • I don’t have a unique experience to connect with others.

  • Who am I to be a (insert your type of business here)?

  • I’ll never be successful because I’m not a high performer.

  • If I put time and effort into something and fail, I’ll have wasted that time and energy.

  • I’m not cool/popular/extroverted enough to really build this into a sustainable, flourishing business or put the effort in to keep it there

  • If I need to take time to recharge and unplug for a few days, people will lose interest so I just have to push through even when my body/soul are screaming for rest.

  • I am afraid of not having enough time to achieve everything I want, both in business and in life. I have all these great things I want to do, but I don’t have the time to get to them and in turn I won’t be as successful as I feel I can be...

  • Fear of not finishing what I started and dreamed of.

  • Not having enough time to build a business while raising children, and having to sacrifice time with kids and partner. Will it all be worth it?

The crazy thing is that we are all the same. We all struggle with different flavors of the same fundamental “stuff” of being human.

When we get out of our heads, and realize that we aren’t alone, the fear starts to dissipate!

This is why I freaking LOVE being a life coach.

Because you can do all the personal development. Go to all the motivational seminars.

But sometimes we need someone else to guide us through the actual work of processing and releasing our fears and doubts, to guide us back to our truth and reflect back what we can’t yet see in ourselves - how powerful and whole and lovable we really are already.

This is why I’ve created a new 3 part mindset training, jamming on some of the most common fears that limit female entrepreneurs from reaching our full potential, as well as a secret to “manifesting” our dreams that I haven’t seen anyone else in the world talk about yet.

I’m calling it LET IT HAPPEN - get out of your head and create an inspired business.

Let’s stop trying to force or push through... and surrender to what feels easy.

We are going deep, we are doing the work, we are going to make some major shifts together!

xo Anna