Field notes from the entrepreneur rollercoaster (buckle up!)

Hello my friends!

Can you believe we're already at Memorial Day? In typical Chicago fashion, the weather has been boomerang-ing between 40’s and rainy and 70’s and humid. But the peonies are starting to bud so there’s hope!

The weather is kind of a metaphor for my life right now. Sunny/cloudy. Hot/cold. Energizing/depressing.

I’ve spent the last few months participating in a wonderful and inspiring mastermind group of other life and business coaches who are also passionate about building successful coaching businesses grounded in authenticity and spirituality. A fusion of biz and woo, if you will. It’s been a blast and also an extremely intense comfort-zone blasting experience (I'm such a sucker for those!).

This week my coach Lexi helped me realize that I need to share more behind the scenes of what I’m going through in this season of life.

So here I am! 

For the past several months I’ve been dealing with a lot of writer’s block around blogging because to be completely honest, I feel like a hot mess on the inside and don’t even know what I could or should be writing about. I have so many thoughts and ideas swirling in my head but as soon as I get a bit of clarity, I move on to the next breakthrough and I’m afraid if I try to put what I’m going through into words, I will make absolute zero sense. 

Insert: perfectionism paralysis. 

But I also know that it’s ok to not make sense. I’m living this life for me, and I want to write for me. I want to document this messy season of becoming and be-ing because I’m starting to understand that life will always feel messy and it’s not my job to make sense of it all. It’s my job to strap into the rollercoaster and go along for the ride!

I think it was Liz Gilbert who wrote that she bargains with God, saying "I'll show up and focus on the quantity (of work), if you take care of the quality," and I'm trying to adopt that mindset of faith.

It’s not about the outcome or whether my (or your) writing is good or bad. Who’s the judge, anyway? It’s about the process and the discipline of sitting down and letting creative energy flow through me. Letting myself find my voice. Letting my message and thoughts be heard. The more I bottle up creative energy, the more anxious and stressed and out of alignment I feel.

So here’s where I’m at:

I’m learning that entrepreneurship is very much a spiritual journey, and building a business doesn’t fit a linear growth model.

Yup, it's a never ending rollercoaster shaped like a ball of spaghetti noodles.

My inner perfectionist and Type A left brain scientist is having fits.

My inner artist and right brained creative is having a field day.

When you’re trying to figure out your purpose, you’ll probably be faced with the questions “what did you like to do when you were a kid?” AKA what were your dreams and desires and passions back before the world started to get into your head?

And the truth is that I was always creative. I was easily inspired and loved making beautiful things out of nothing. My imagination was bigger than life. I lived inside of my daydreams, my magical invented worlds. I knew I was part of something bigger than I could see and feel with my eyes and body.

So I’m giving that little girl Anna some time in the sun again. This is who I’m meant to be and I'm discovering that through the past 15 years of education and jobs and pivots and crises I’ve simply been on a journey of coming home to myself.

I'm trying to get curious and listen to and ACT on my creative impulses instead of telling myself things like “I’m too busy to take a break and paint.”

I've been taking deep dives into self care, spirituality, and learning what it’s like to lean back and meet God/the universe halfway instead of trying to force and control my goals into existence. Trying to trust that what I’m seeking is also coming to me, and learning how to open myself up to receive instead of constantly striving.

Here’s what I’m learning about entrepreneurship:

There’s so much dogma about the hustle, the grind, working harder and smarter and making more money, but when does it all end?

It only ends when we decide that WE ARE ENOUGH. It’s ok to want to continue to grow, but when we work from a place of rest, peace, and knowledge that we already have everything we need … we’re able to go deeper and further.

I’ve been exploring my faith, establishing a personal relationship with God, and getting curious about the invisible stuff like feminine energy, astrology, cycles, deeper connection to the vast space of source energy that we’re all part of. 

I love learning how I work, how I’m wired, and discovering my strengths. To me, spirituality is a form of self discovery on a deeper level, beyond personality tests.

Where this is bringing me?

Into my soul’s purpose.

My mission as a life coach: to help my fellow perfectionists and creative entrepreneurs learn how to slow down, release the striving,  navigate the rollercoaster, connect with their purpose, put their soul and heart back into their biz, overcome “empty success syndrome” and create a thriving business that supports them and a life that lights them up. 

And I'm learning that I need to do the work on MYSELF first and always (because it never ends), and learn what it actually feels like to slow down, tune in, and light myself back up from the inside.

When we project thriving positive energy and a sense of abundance, we’ll attract the people and opportunities that we need to take ourselves to the next level of success.

It's also important to remember that external success doesn’t bring happiness. If you want to be successful, you have to be happy FIRST. The money and all the ego stuff will follow, but it shouldn't be the goal.

Welcome to the rollercoaster. Up and down and up again.

Sometimes I feel like I’m growing and evolving so quickly I can barely keep up.

Sometimes I feel stuck.

Sometimes I feel like I’m pouring all my heart and time and energy into something that isn’t going anywhere.

Sometimes I feel like I can't even contain the joy and happiness and gratitude that's exploding my heart. 

Sometimes I go through a few weeks where I’ll be busy being … not busy. Hanging out with my own thoughts and Hulu.

Sometimes I watch myself dip back into my old workaholic tendencies and forget to take care of myself. Then I start to feel burned out, frazzled, and desperate and try to remember what it was like when I was doing less.

But through it all I’m continuing to show up for myself, my business, and my life and I’m learning so many lessons along the way.

I’m turning my life into my work and even though it's scary, it's also so much fun.

And day by day I'm making it happen! And letting it happen.

And learning how to relax and ride the rollercoaster with my arms in the air.

xo Anna 

p.s. if you want to chat more about life coaching or your own rollercoaster, click here to book a free 30 minute discovery call! Aka virtual coffee date :)

photo by Artistrie Co

Open-hearted: my word of the year

Back in January I decided to choose a word of the year. Have you ever done this?

I always get caught up in the New Years goal setting rush, but I also know myself and I know my goals are constantly shifting and evolving so I wanted one specific word or mantra to come back to and ground myself through the unknown months of adventure to come.

I decided to choose the word OPEN-HEARTED.

It felt like a way to release all the pressure I’d been placing on myself over the last few years as I launched and grew my businesses and evolved into Anna 2.0 -- this new confident, self-assured, happy version of myself that I'm still getting used to!

Why open-hearted?

When Ben and I were joining our church a couple of years ago, we took a new members class and learned that one definition of sin is a closing off of oneself, or turning away from God and inward to our own agenda.

God’s grace and love is constantly pouring into us, and when we feel anxious, overwhelmed, or alone it’s not because we aren’t worthy of love. It’s because we’re literally blocking ourselves from receiving all these good vibes.

As a highly sensitive introvert, it’s easy for me to close myself off to the world and go into hermit mode, especially since I work from home. But when I get too caught up in my head and my own agenda, I start to feel stressed, lonely, and let fear and anxiety take over. No bueno!

“The presence of fear is a sure sign that you are trusting in your own strength.”
A Course in Miracles

By practicing open-heartedness, I originally wanted to open myself up to new experiences, opportunities, and adventures this year. The older I get, the less intense and serious I feel about life. I want to have more fun, take myself less seriously, take pressure off, learn how to embrace the journey instead of constantly racing towards some destination and feeling like a constant failure if I'm not there yet.

I thought being "open-hearted" was an active verb - something I would practice or do.

Instead it’s become something much deeper, a way of being.

I'm learning how to open myself up to RECEIVE as well as give. To be vulnerable. It's not just about having adventures and exploring the world. It's about relaxing, slowing down, standing still. Experiencing life right now, as it's happening around me, instead of rushing off to find it.

Turn on.
Light up.
Live with more pleasure, more joy, more fun…even in the mundane.

Finding beauty everywhere, in everything.

In the two energetic/sparkly pre-teens next to me at Starbucks drinking sugary smoothies, stalking their friends on Instagram, and discussing babysitting techniques.

In the winter sunset peeking out above the rooftops of my city.

In the sound of birds singing as cold rain pours down.

In the flowers that drip off the trees in April.

Sitting in my parents' backyard on a warm 70* afternoon watching the sun glow through the tulips and new leaves.

Turning 30 with open arms and a fresh perspective, leaving this emotional rollercoaster of a decade behind.

Doing less.

Taking stuff off my plate. Saying no, even to volunteer activities that would leave me feeling drained and resentful.

Taking ownership of my time, my energy, the way I talk to myself.

Learning how to follow through on the commitments I make to myself, lean in to do the work when it's uncomfortable, but also to lean back when I need to work from a place of rest.

Learning how to experience the FULL range of emotion, instead of numbing the extremes with alcohol or mindless snacking.

Knowing that I'll always have far to go, and room to grow, but being content where I'm at anyways.

Learning how to embrace the messy process of life.

Self compassion.

Removing the timeline from my dreams.

Giving myself more white space to think, dream, process, integrate, create, daydream.

Following my curiosity instead of listening to the critical voice in my head.

Receiving support, love, and being vulnerable. Asking for help instead of pretending that I have it all together.

Learning how I operate and why, so I can give myself permission to own my strengths and weaknesses. Personality tests, strengths tests, natal charts, human design, chakras, energy, I am fascinated by it all.

Writing and sharing and speaking from my heart instead of passively consuming information.

Spending less time scrolling through social media and more time building relationships and connections with the women I stalk.

Reconnecting with old friends who knew me before I knew myself.

Discovering that yes, I actually can meditate and do yoga. And it feels amazing.

I’ve realized that over the past couple of rollercoaster years, I’ve been in a season of becoming.

Growing, learning, evolving, shifting.

It’s been exciting, but also terrifying and exhausting. I’m finally starting to feel that I’ve arrived. Not at a final destination, but at a place where I can just be me. Allow myself to be happy and grateful for the simple fact that I’m alive and healthy and breathing.

Something is shifting deep inside of me, unlocking a source of energy that feels grounded and free.

Faith, surrender, trust.

When I finally release my control-freak grip on external goals and growth and live AS IF I am already where I want to be, it’s like all the fear and stress and anxiety goes poof.

And once you start to slow down and pay attention, synchronicities start to appear. You wanna hear something funny? After writing the rough draft of this post, I took a break to go to a midday yoga class and the instructor Alex’s theme for us was heart opening. She led us through a beautiful series of heart opening poses and shared her own reflections on what it means to live with an open heart and open mind. I almost started crying!

We are always supported, you guys. We just have to get out of our own heads and recognize the love and support that’s constantly flowing into our lives.

After I came home to eat and shower I opened my Google doc to add some of her thoughts to this post and realized that I’d already written them.

Vulnerability. Accepting what comes, what is, what is happening.

Trust that whatever is coming into your life is happening for the highest good of you and everyone involved.

We live in a crazy scary and challenging world, but there's so much love surrounding us if we're brave enough to keep our hearts open.

Namaste ;)

xo Anna

Learning to trust the process - my first 3 years as a Beachbody coach (and what's next for Inspire Joy!)

“Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in a decade.”

-Bill Gates

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Hello friends! It's been a while since I shared my heart on the blog, but I've missed this space so I'm excited to announce that I'M BACK!!

I've been going through some big and exciting shifts and changes in my life and business behind the scenes over the past few months, and I needed to take some time to process and integrate everything. AKA figure out wtf I'm doing with my life! As usual.

This past month marked a pretty big milestone for me: my 3rd anniversary with Beachbody.

I've actually never held a full time job for this long in my entire life, and I'm pretty proud to be standing here three years later, still chugging along with my business and team Inspire Joy.

Beachbody has taken me on the journey of a lifetime: I've literally traveled all over the world and also deep into myself and my soul's purpose.

It's been so much more than a heath and fitness platform.

It's been a door and a path for me to find myself, heal my anxiety, overcome self doubt, pivot into a career path and a lifestyle that is completely aligned with my passions and strengths, support myself, and serve other women in a bigger way.

In late February 2014, I made the decision to try out Beachbody coaching.

"I want to inspire people. I want someone to look at me and say, "because of you, I didn't give up."

This quote has been my guiding mantra since literally Day One.

I want my life to mean something. I want to share my experiences and connect with other women so we feel seen, heard, and understood. I want to empower myself and other women to dig deep, fight for our happiness, and never settle for less than we're worth whether that's in our job, relationships, or the way we treat ourselves.

Why did I sign up with Beachbody?

Well to be honest, I can't really explain. It was one of those intuitive/God moments where I felt called, like there was a plan in place and I had to hop on the train without worrying about the details or how it was all going to go down.

Back in 2014 I was in a pretty deep quarter life crisis rut, feeling lost, insecure, dealing with chronic food and body image issues, lacking a sense of purpose or hope in my life, and feeling backed into a career corner.

I was craving more positivity in my life and a community of people who were MY people.

The opportunity to earn an income by sharing my passion for health and fitness and sharing my story and inspiring other women along the way was irresistible.

Not to mention the glimmer of hope that I could maybe even be my own boss!

So I did the damn thing.

I quit my job 6 months in with a few months of living expenses in savings, fueled on optimism, dreams, and the blind confidence that comes when I'm starting something new and exciting.

Freeeeeeedommmm!

Since then I've learned more about myself than I ever thought possible, and to be honest it's taken me these three full years to find my groove and confidence as an entrepreneur.

I want to share some of the biggest lessons I've learned on my journey so far because I always love looking back at how far I've come, and I know that in three more years (or 10, or 20) I want to be able to look back at this post and smile.

I also want to hopefully inspire YOU to take a leap (or baby step) of faith on your own intuition too. It takes work, but there's a wide world of happiness and joy out there waiting for you!

Lessons learned in 3 years of Beachbody coaching

1. It's so important to get clear on your own definition of success.

If you let other people define what success means, you'll either constantly be caught in comparison-itis and never feel like you're quite "there" yet, or else you'll blindly move through life on autopilot only to wake up one morning and not even recognize who you are anymore.

Define success based on your priorities, YOUR goals and dreams, and on how you want to show up in your life each and every day.

First get clear on how you want to feel, and then figure out what you can do NOW to experience those feelings in the present moment. If you don't know how to be happy today, you won't know how to be happy even when you reach your goal, and you'll constantly feel empty or postpone your happiness until some distant imaginary point in the future when you reach XYZ goal.

2. No one will care about your goals and dreams as much as you -- and YOU are the only one who can make them happen.

So stop waiting and wishing for the stars to align and get out there! Be fierce with your goals and dreams. Braindump a huge list of everything you'll need to do/learn/become/release to make them happen, break them down into micro tasks you can complete in less than a day, and then put them on your calendar and make it happen!

3. Use jealousy for your own good.

This is an interesting lesson I'm still practicing, because I used to be super insecure and would get SO jealous when I saw a woman out there in the world crushing life and doing all the things I wanted to do deep down. I'd build a wall between her and me, and put myself down for not being "there" yet.

But it's not because I'm not good enough or that I can't be where she's at.

It's safe to celebrate the success or beauty of other women without questioning our own! It's so important to lift each other up instead of tearing ourselves and each other down.

I'm learning that when we feel that prick of envy, it's because we see something in that person that we see in ourselves too- something that we aren't yet acknowledging or owning. Get curious with your jealousy and ask yourself "what does she have that I want? How can I nurture or acknowledge those qualities in myself?"

And for the love of woman power, don't ever put other people on a pedestal. Raise your OWN pedestal to meet them, because deep down we're all the same. Send her a message to thank her for having the guts and courage to go for it, and tell her how much you admire her work!

4. HAVE PATIENCE and learn how to enjoy the process as you're working towards your goals!

Entrepreneurship is like building a house: everything is going to take 4x as long as your expected timeline.

Trust the process, focus on the journey not the results!

Allow yourself to grow and evolve.

"Just because we can't yet see something happening, doesn't mean it's not happening. So long as we keep dreaming and taking baby steps, in spite of not knowing where they may land or how they may be used later." (Mike Dooley, Leveraging the Universe)

5. You always have enough time to do what really matters.

Lack of time is not a valid excuse for why you're not working on your passions and doing the things you want to do.

How do I know this? Because I now have 100% complete control over my own time, and I still struggle to do all the things!

Yes, you need time. But you also need energy, focus, discipline, and belief in yourself.

If something is truly important to you, you'll make the time.

6. Focus on happiness, and success will follow.

I've always been an overachiever, and for most of my life I was a slave to success. I worked and worked and sacrificed my mental and emotional wellbeing at the altar of productivity.

Something I'm finally learning is that happiness doesn't come when we're successful.

If we're only focusing on achieving the external goals, we'll still feel empty once we reach them. When we put our happiness FIRST, success will follow.

Same thing with weight loss: When you put taking care of your body first and focus on eating things that make you feel healthy and energized, the pounds will drop off!

7. We all need support.

I'm a control freak, a perfectionist, and an oldest child with a wild rebellious streak deep down.

It is SO hard for me to ask for help, but we can't do life or achieve success and happiness alone. Find people who will share your vision and pull you to keep working on what's important. 

Start with baby steps, like receiving a compliment instead of brushing it off!

8. Your purpose isn't something you have to "discover" or figure out.

It's inside you already. You just have to get quiet to listen to your heart and learn how to TRUST your own voice.

9. Courage comes from taking action before we feel ready.

If we wait until we're ready or we have time, or everything in life is perfect and the stars are all aligned before we take the first step, guess what? We'll never get there.

I love using the car analogy: when we're driving in the dark, we can only see as far as our headlights, but do we freak out that we can't see what lies ahead on the highway between our starting place and our final destination? No! We trust that the road is there and we'll be able to make the entire journey even though we can only see the tiny bit of road illuminated right in front of us. There might be deer, road construction, detours, pitstops, flat tires, and unexpected adventures along the way, but that's ok!

The same is true with life. We'll only ever be able to see the next couple steps ahead of us, but if we trust the path will appear and keep moving, we'll get to where we need to be.

Take action before you're ready and figure it out as you go.

You don't have to be fearless, you just need 10 seconds of bravery to send the email/make the call/publish the blog post/tell your friend about your crazy idea.

The only way to figure everything out when you're feeling lost or overwhelmed is to get moving. Clarity comes from getting in the trenches. You don't have to take big giant leaps. Start where you're at and figure out the very first teeny tiny baby step. Then do it! Find someone to hold you accountable and celebrate every single micro-victory along the way!

10. Invest in yourself.

Dreams don't come for free, baby.

Treat your personal development, growth, and business like you're going back to college for a PhD in YOU.

Get your finances under control and make sure you're spending your money where your priorities lie!

Invest in the best quality food, supplements, self care, coaches, designers, and therapists that you can, depending on what you need. Can you bootstrap and DIY stuff on your own? Maybe. But is that really the best use of your time and energy, and will you get the results you desire?

Don't cut corners on yourself. It's like planning a wedding. Use the pros! 

And remember that nothing is a waste of money if it will make you happier, healthier, or wealthier in the long haul. Investments have returns. The more you pour into yourself, the more you'll be able to pour into the world, and the more richly you'll be rewarded in love, success, and abundance.

BONUS LESSON: Dreams don't work unless you do.

I am not lucky. I have worked my booty off to create my own definition of success and happiness. But it IS POSSIBLE!

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I've grown so much in the past three years on the inside and out. I feel so blessed to be part of a company that truly values giving back and helping people change their own lives, and I'm super excited for this next chapter in the story.

I’ve decided to follow my passion of helping women transform on the inside even farther and become a certified life coach! I'm now super excited to be able to support women on a more intensive 1:1 level in addition to my health and fitness accountability groups and coach business mentorships.

What's next for Inspire Joy?

My vision for my Beachbody business and team Inspire Joy is to create a community and sisterhood of empowered women who are passionate about making their own self care, health, and happiness a priority, desire more freedom and control over their lifestyle choices and career path, and want to pay it forward to help other people take ownership of their health and happiness too. The world needs more strong and confident women who are unapologetic about owning their voice and standing in their own power, and Inspire Joy is a leadership incubator to provide a safe space for us to grow and evolve into the women we're meant to be. It all starts with self care and self love!

What's next for this blog?

THIS blog will revert back to what it was in the very beginning when I started writing in 2009: my online journal, creative outlet, and a space for me to share my heart and the life lessons I'm learning from the trenches.

Expect to see lots more stories, rambles, DIY tutorials, and behind the scenes updates!

And make sure to sign up for my monthly AML News to get the latest posts, updates, and surprises straight to your inbox.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for supporting me and following along. Let me know if this post resonated with you, I love hearing from you!!

xo Anna

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Beachbody does not guarantee any level of success or income from the Team Beachbody Coach Opportunity. Each Coach's income depends on his or her own efforts, diligence, and skill. See our Statement of Independent Coach Earnings located at https://images.beachbody.com/coach-office/downloads/statement_of_independent_coach_earnings.pdf for the most recent information on our Coaches' actual incomes.