We’re officially in the 2 month countdown until baby boy arrives, and I’ve been doing a lot of planning and strategizing around how I want to approach taking leave from my business this second time around.
You can read about how I planned my first maternity leave here
What I learned from my first self employed “maternity leave” and postpartum experience
The biggest challenge I faced the first time around was simply inexperience. I was having my first baby and literally didn’t know what it would be like to be a new mom! Would I want to work less or take a break to spend more time with my baby? I assumed I wouldn’t want to put my infant in full time daycare (flexibility was the main reason I started my own business in the first place) but how much childcare would I need? How do you even find childcare? How would I make enough money to pay for all our new expenses and still take care of myself?
All I could do was see what my friends and peers were going through as they had babies, and absorb all the advice I was getting from all sides.
The overarching message I was absorbing was “the baby years go by so fast, and you will never regret spending more time with your baby! You will want to be present and soak it all up.”
So, I didn’t really make any set-in-stone postpartum plans for childcare or work, and decided to just see what I wanted and needed after I had my baby.
Regarding my business, my life coach and spiritual mentor at the time advised me to drop everything and focus on building up my 1:1 client base because with the type of work I do, it would be possible to take client calls with a baby.
But I completely ignored her :P and went on to attempt way too many goals, projects, and launches- ultimately spreading myself too thin and making little progress, which just compounded my stress and feelings of overwhelm.
Ah, the curse of the easily inspired multi-passionista!
THE REALITY OF MY EXPERIENCE:
After my husband went back to work (back in the pre-pandemic days when he commuted to an office), I was left all alone all day with a wailing nugget, felt completely alone, and sunk into postpartum depression with the isolation and brain numbing monotony.
Re-learning how to do basic things as a new mom like getting out of the house or driving somewhere with my baby felt completely insurmountable.
WHAT I LEARNED
What I’ve learned through experience about crafting your own maternity leave as a solo entrepreneur can be summed up by what I’m calling “the 3 S’s:”
Support, Simplify, and Systematize!
Set Up Support!
If you only do one thing to prepare your life and business for having a baby, THIS IS IT.
You are going to need so much support, and that is completely normal! It doesn’t mean you’re weak or a failure. We live in a culture (in the US) that was literally founded on freedom and independence, but the fact is that you can’t do everything on your own especially after having a baby, and you shouldn’t expect that of yourself.
Think about:
Business support, whether that means childcare or coaching for some structure and accountability
Postpartum support (mental and physical - think psychotherapy, pelvic floor physical therapy, lactation help if you’re breastfeeding, meal trains, who is going to clean your bathroom or teach you how to use your baby wrap or breast pump etc)
Support for navigating the identity shifts and how your life is going to dramatically change overnight from maiden to mother (especially if it’s your first baby)
Support with your older kids if it’s not your first baby
Support so you can continue to prioritize 1:1 time with your partner
Last fall I hired a business coach and joined a mastermind to give myself some support and it was the best personal and business decision. I’ve already joined the next round of the mastermind so I know I’ll be supported when I come back from maternity leave later this summer.
I know that if I try to get things done on my own, they just won’t happen and I don’t want to feel like I”m free floating in the cloudy chaos of postpartum.
On the personal side, I’m also getting established with a perinatal therapist for mental and emotional support.
I also need to acknowledge that it’s been four years since my first baby rodeo and we are fortunate to be in a completely different life situation. I’ve been intentionally creating my “village” or system of support ever since becoming a mom, and our household has privileges that many don’t.
Ben works from home, is a true co-parent and partner, and gets 3 months of paid family leave. Yes I fully appreciate this and him!
Thomas is now a semi-independent preschooler and will continue going to school 3 full days each week.
We live 35 minutes from my mother in law and have made a few babysitter connections so I’ll be able to have support with the baby when I need it.
I’m taking midwife approved medication for my anxiety which has been helping me feel much more emotionally and mentally stable.
And my business has been established for four more years than before! I have much more experience and clarity in what I do and my long term goals.
2. Simplify
Over the last year I’ve been slowly letting go of extra side projects and smaller offers in my business to focus exclusively on my 1:1 coaching for the foreseeable future.
Instead of viewing having a baby as the end of life as I know it, I’m taking a longer perspective when it comes to my work (since I assume I will be doing this decades!) and thinking more in terms of a 3-5 year strategic plan vs. “how much can I accomplish in this calendar year.”
Are there programs, offerings, and group experiences I want to create and launch? Absolutely! I love bringing women together and would espeiclly love to do in-person womens circle at some point. I would love to launch a podcast and run another round of Wild Synchronicity or launch my Back to Biz with Baby group program.
AND I WILL!
Just not this year ;)
3. Systematize
My loose timeline is to take 8 weeks off work, then pick back up 1:1 client calls and work a few hours a week once we feel pretty established in our routine. I’m not going to launch anything new or take on projects for the rest of the year, just continue the momentum I’ve built in the past several months.
Intentional work I have been doing over the past 6 months to get into a flexible and realistic work flow:
clarifying my niche, audience, and offerings
relationship building, in person and online
content batching
writing a regular blog/newsletter
honing my social media strategy
launching a new free offer with automated emails that nurture my audience and lead into my paid coaching offer
establishing set times and days of the week to take client calls
creating a “content bank” of copy, posts, and emails I can send
As someone who is easily inspired and has “shiny object syndrome” and endless creative ideas, it is super super super hard for me to let go and simplify.
But I shifted my mindset.
Instead of looking at what I am missing out on or sacrificing, I’m looking at what’s most important to me right now, and giving myself lots of permission slips:
To have low energy.
To work less.
To have more time and space to prepare for the baby and enjoy spending time with my firstborn in our last weeks as a family of 3.
To make space for fun hobbies and projects like decorating our house… embroidery… sewing for fun… instead of feeling like I need to cram as many work projects into my life as possible to prep for leave.
The thing about taking a leave is that you will come back!
It’s ok to save some work for later if you don’t get everything done.
It’s ok to schedule projects, goals, and ideas out on your timeline, even years in the future.
Permission to be present in the moment.
Permission to change your mind, and change your plans if it turns out you need or want something different!
Having a baby might be the end of life as you know it, but it’s the beginning of a whole new chapter that is going to surprise, delight, and stretch you in ways you can’t even fathom right now.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. As painful as it is for me to accept this… as a Type A control freak who strives on structure and plans… maybe this is an invitation to go with the flow a little more!
When I was pregnant with my first baby, one of my biggest fears was how I would manage to continue the work I loved as a coach and creative entrepreneur while also being the present mama I wanted to be.
It felt impossible because it was all so new and I didn’t see many other people or role models living this “middle path” that’s not really being a stay at home mom, but also not being a full time working mom.
Our brains automatically go to Worst Case Scenario thinking, so we have to choose positive possibilities instead.
So I created this affirmation:
What if…
✨Having a baby is the BEST THING that could happen to my life and business✨
And honestly, it will be true if you decide to make it come true.
I know that planning for a baby and maternity leave as a creative business owner or solo entrepreneur feels completely overwhelming, which is why I love doing my part to support women who are transitioning into motherhood or balancing your creative purpose driven work in the world with your calling to be a mom.
If you want some help brainstorming what YOU need for your maternity leave, you can click here to schedule a totally free 30 minute call with me. I’d love to help you feel more empowered, organized, and confident heading into this new exciting season!
xo Anna