How to stop giving up on yourself when things get hard

How do you react when things get hard? Do you lean in and push through, or do you back off and give up on yourself? 

Lately I've been talking with some of the coaches on my team about comfort zones. They're learning that it's OK to be challenged and stretched, and when things feel hard it's not a sign of failure and most definitely NOT a time to back off or give up.

Usually we hold ourselves back from going after what we really want in life because we want to feel safe and secure and are too afraid to rock the boat. It's really freaking scary to put yourself out there and try something new, even if it's something that's not even a big deal in the grand scheme of things, like committing to a fitness program or personal routine. When it IS a big deal, like launching a business, the emotional stakes are even higher.

For the first few days after we decide to take the plunge we're high on the excitement of trying something new, but when the initial rush of adrenaline and the shiny glow wears off and reality sinks back in, we start to second guess our decisions and are left at a crossroads.

How bad do we really want this new thing? Are we willing to do the unsexy behind the scenes work when we're not seeing progress or results as fast as we think we should be?

We're faced with the extremely seductive temptation to throw in the towel and give up, telling ourselves that we just aren't good enough or meant for this after all.

Growing up as a straight-A overachiever and oldest child, and I set the bar ridiculously high for myself because school was relatively easy for me. I conditioned myself to believe that EVERYTHING should be easy, and I should be instantly successful at everything I tried.

Obviously, this isn't a realistic mindset to take into the "real world," and when I WASN'T immediately successful at life after school, I went through a quarter life crisis of feeling like a worthless failure when I couldn't find a full time job that aligned with my goals and vision.

Ultimately, I realized that I had to create my own version of success, and have been building my coaching business ever since. But let me tell you, being an entrepreneur is the hardest thing ever. You're serving yourself up a big slab of Humble Pie every single day, and there's no rulebook to tell you if you're doing the right or wrong thing. You have to make your own rules, and you're the only one holding yourself accountable.

It's super fun and exciting, but it's also super HARD!

My first impulse is to shy away and back off when things get challenging and hard, because I don't want to fail.

When I'm running and start to feel uncomfortable, I start to walk. When I have a big day in my business and do a lot of scary things like phone calls, the next day all I want to do is sit on the couch in my PJ's and numb my brain with Bachelor in Paradise.

I'm trying to overcome the habit of backing off or giving up when things get hard by PRACTICE, combined with a hefty dose of epic self compassion.

I practice going out of my mental and physical comfort zone every day with hard workouts, breathing into my runs when I'm tempted to take a walk break, trying new things in my business, writing blog posts like this!

Baby steps each and every single day.

Whenever we mix up our routine, we're putting ourselves out of our comfort zone.

And going out of our comfort zone brings up feelings of doubt, insecurity, and most of all FEAR. Fear that we won't measure up. Fear that we will fail. Fear that if we give this our best shot, we'll fall short and disappoint ourselves.

I want to remind you that it's ok to feel challenged.

It's ok when things are hard.

It's not a sign that you're weak or a failure or not good enough, but rather a sign that you've found your edge, and that's where the magic happens--growth and transformation and rising into your potential.

Going out of your comfort zone is like taking the GRE. The better you do, the harder the questions get and it's a total mind-fuck because you feel like you're failing but really you're doing great!

Yes, it sucks to feel wobbly and new and inexperienced, and to see a huge gap between where you are right now and where you want to be. It's easy to get discouraged and not even try to take the first step across that gap.

But you can do hard things.

By challenging yourself, you're strengthening your mind, body, and spirit every single day. 

By taking baby step after baby step out of your comfort zone, you're forging iron in fire.

Keep surfing that edge. It's exactly where you need to be. Breathe deep and lean in, because now is not the time to back off. Re-program your brain to see challenges as fun and exciting. Get curious, dive in, explore your limits and evolve forward.

Most of all, force yourself to take action even when it's scary, because action creates confidence, while inaction breeds fear.

So try something new today. Put yourself out there. If it feels uncomfortable, celebrate, because you're just growing...and that's freaking awesome.

Take a deep breath, lean in, and rise up, gorgeous girl.

Your dreams are coming true.

xo Anna

p.s. Need more motivation on digging in and rising up? Read this from my fave Danielle LaPorte.

Epic Baked Oatmeal

Oh my goodness, summer is slipping away way too fast! This is Ben’s last week of break before he goes back to school (WHAT!) so we’re trying to cram in the last of our summer bucket list activities, plus watching about 5 hours/day of Olympics, of course. 

Last week we took an incredible trip to Tennessee and North Carolina for my second annual Beachbody Coach Summit in Nashville, and then to visit Ben's mom. We visited Asheville (ADORABLE), hiked the Appalachian Trail, ate tons of delicious food, and had a wonderful trip.

I love traveling but it always throws me out of my routine, so this week has been a little busy getting back to work! I have so many projects and ideas I want to put into place this summer and fall now that I've officially graduated from my life coaching course!

Last Saturday I hosted a brunch and vision board workshop for the Chicago area coaches on my team Inspire Joy, and I made a delicious baked oatmeal casserole to share. It was so good, I decided to make another one to eat this week.

This recipe is PERFECT for those weeks you're super busy and want to have a yummy healthy breakfast all ready to go in the morning. It would be great to pack up and take to work too, with way less mess than cooking traditional oatmeal!

It makes around six servings and stores well in the fridge for a few days. You can either re-heat it in the microwave or eat it cold, it's great both ways. You'll feel like you're eating cake for breakfast!

Epic Baked Oatmeal

Inspired by Cookie and Kate
Serves 6
21 Day Fix containers: 1 yellow, ½ purple per serving

Dry Ingredients

• 2 c old fashioned oats
• ½ tsp salt
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 2 tsp cinnamon
• ½ tsp nutmeg

Wet Ingredients

• 1 ¾ c milk
• 2 eggs
• 2 tsp vanilla extract
• 1-2 T pure maple syrup (optional -- add more or less depending on your sweetness preference!)

Fruit

• 1 apple, chopped
• 2 c frozen or fresh berries (I used blueberries and strawberries, no need to defrost)

Directions

Preheat oven to 375* F. In a large bowl, combine dry ingredients. In a smaller bowl, whisk together the wet ingredients.

Coat a small baking dish with cooking spray. I used a 9-in round Pyrex, you could also use an 8x8 in glass or ceramic dish.

Place a layer of mixed fruit (about half the fruit, or 1.5 cups) in the bottom of the dish. Layer the dry ingredients over the fruit, and pour the wet ingredients on top. Gently press the top of the dry ingredients with the back of a spoon and tilt the dish back and forth to make sure everything is saturated with the egg and milk mixture.

Layer the remaining fruit on top, pop it in the oven, and bake for 45-55 degrees, until the edges look brown and everything is solid!

Serve warm or cool, great with a dollop of Greek yogurt on top. This will keep well in the refrigerator for a few days!

You can have fun and mix it up with any fruit that's in season, or add chopped nuts!

Some possible suggestions:

+ Banana Walnut
+ Pear Almond
+ Strawberry Rhubarb (add extra maple syrup for sweetness)

I'm already thinking about a pumpkin spice version this fall ...

Let me know if you try this recipe, I'd love to hear what you think! 

xo Anna

21 Day Fix Extreme Review!

Oh heyyyy it's time for another fun fitness update!!

Today I officially completed the 21 Day Fix Extreme and I can honestly say I’ve never felt this strong, confident, and proud of myself from the inside out. I’ve come so far since I did the original 21 Day Fix for the first time back in March 2014, and I wanted to challenge myself and see what would happen if I committed 100% to a program again!

“When you lose your excuses you will find your results” -Autumn Calabrese

Beachbody trainers are always chock full of motivational quotes, but this one stuck out to me this month as I completed the 21 Day Fix Extreme because isn’t that a metaphor for everything in life?

We HAVE to get out of our own way in order to grow into the person we’re meant to be.

Some of my own excuses that popped up when I was thinking about doing this program --

“But I want wine and treats because SUMMER”

“I can’t fully commit, I’m going to leave myself wiggle room for wine and weekends...”

“I’ll never have the discipline to see this program through”

“I don’t want to feel deprived”

(See a pattern? This girl loves her wine and celebrating life with food!)

But you know what? I decided to commit. I decided that it wasn’t about willpower or discipline or forcing through or punching fear in the face or deprivation or all those aggressive tactics we use to shame and guilt and force our way into changing our bodies and habits.

I decided to take a more compassionate route, and simply get curious. I wanted to see what would happen if I devoted myself mentally, physically, and emotionally to taking the best care possible of myself.

This is the FIRST TIME I've ever done a fitness program because I want to take care of my body from the inside out. The FIRST TIME I haven't cared about what I look like, or put pressure on myself to lose weight or get an impressive before/after picture.

And let me tell you -- it's SO MUCH EASIER to stick to a program and say "no" to wine and sugar when you're motivating yourself based on love and appreciation for your body instead of feeling like you need to change to be happy.

Did I want to drop a few pounds and have more defined abs? Heck yes. But does it really matter in the end? Nope. I will love and appreciate myself no matter what.

It's ok to like your body and still want to change it.

And guess what? When you make that decision out of love and self-compassion and the curiosity to discover the strongest and healthiest version of yourself ... the results will happen as a side effect.

I decided to make July my month of EPIC self care.

I didn’t do this program to lose weight or inches, and didn’t weigh or measure myself at all. I wanted to do it for the internal changes and the confidence I always feel when I finish a hard program, and to honor my body through healthy nourishing food and challenging exercise.

I wanted to break my usual summer cycle of eating super healthy during the week, then over-indulging in wine, cocktails, froyo, and treats on the weekend and feeling like crap come Monday morning.

I wanted to spend less time working out and thinking about food, and have a simple plan to follow so I could free up my energy to focus on finishing my life coaching course.

Most of all, I knew that this month was going to be a STRETCH month for me personally and professionally, so I wanted to make sure I was taking care of myself while pushing my limits, doing big scary-exciting things like becoming a life coach and hosting live webinars for my team, and pouring love and energy into my challengers and coaches.

(I can’t emphasize how important it is to put your own energy first, especially when you spend your day pouring into others. Make sure you’re pouring from a full cup, or else you’ll burn out!)

(I know you're looking at that ice cream and honey nut cheerios... they were for my hubby I PROMISE! :)

What is the 21 Day Fix Extreme?

Put simply, it’s a next level version of the 21 Day Fix (which you learn more about on my blog here), but all you need to know is that the workouts are more challenging and the nutrition plan is a little more “strict.” In the regular 21DF you can have wine, chocolate, treats in moderation.

It uses the same nutrition plan that’s based on portion control, and you calculate the range of calories/day you need to achieve your goals then measure out your portions with the cute colored containers.

The 21DFX is geared towards fueling your body with the most nutrient-dense foods possible so it seems a little more strict, but if you make a mindset shift and remind yourself that you’re just saying “not right now” to the sugar and booze and saving them for later in order to say a bigger YES to the healthiest version of yourself, you won’t feel deprived. Your perception creates your reality - I focused on all the delicious yummy foods I could treat my body with and I can honestly say I didn’t miss sugar at all. Wine on the other hand … yeah I missed wine.

I love this program because it combines fitness AND nutrition. It’s easy to work out, but knowing how to eat right is what will make or break your results when you’re trying to work on health and wellness goals.

You can follow this program to lose weight, gain weight, or (like me) simply feel your absolute BEST from the inside out. You’re in control of your results, the amount of food you eat, and what you make of it.

There are 7 different workouts you cycle through each week, split between weight training circuits (upper body/lower body), cardio with weights, Plyometrics, Pilates, and yoga. All of the workouts are only 30-32 minutes, and are circuit-based, which means you’ll do a move for 30-60 minutes, move on to another move, and then repeat each circuit of moves 3-4 times.

One of the main differences between the regular and extreme versions is that Extreme uses more COMPOUND moves that work your entire body at once, and the regular Fix uses simple moves that are easier to master and learn.

I love this program because it has structure, but also gives you a lot of freedom. It’s not about being perfect or hitting a certain number of calories, because our bodies can’t tell the difference. It’s about eating certain portions of food to give your body the right amount of macro-nutrients (protein/carbs/fat) to feel energized, fuel your workouts, and change your body composition.

A typical day of eats

Doing this program made me realize how far I've come in my health and wellness journey, and with my relationship with food, because I didn't have to make any major changes to my diet at all! The main challenge for me was eliminating sugar and alcohol.

Here's what a typical day of eating looks like for me, both on AND off the 21DF plan.

Breakfast: Oatmeal with fruit and protein powder, or toast and eggs

Morning snack: Vegan chocolate Shakeology blended with almond milk and ice

Lunch: GIANT salad (I love salads!) or leftovers

Afternoon snack: Veggies and hummus, or my Shakeo if I haven't had it yet

Dinner: Some combo of protein, veggies, and healthy carbs (sweet potatoes, rice, and quinoa are my go-to's) or another giant salad.

If I was hungry at night, I'd have a bedtime snack of Greek yogurt, berries, or a Shakeo mug cake. 

I also LOVED using the chocolate Recover protein shake from the Beachbody Performance Line, and drank one 4-5 times a week after my more intense workouts. It's an all-natural protein powder designed to reduce muscle soreness and I swear it made a huge difference for me (AND all Performance Line supplements count as "free" containers!)

My typical weekly meal plan

I've found it's easiest for me to assign certain "containers" (aka food groups) to each meal and snack, and stay consistent every day, just rotating in different food combinations. So for example, for breakfast I'll have a carb, a protein, a fruit, and a teaspoon of healthy fat. This could look like oatmeal with eggs, fruit, and peanut butter, or toast with eggs and fruit.

I share my weekly meal plans and recipes with my Challenge Groups and clients. Here's a sneak peek of a typical week in my life!

What I learned on the 21 Day Fix Extreme

I’ve really been able to make the 21 Day Fix a lifestyle. I didn’t have to make any major adjustments to my normal diet at all. The biggest challenges for me were giving up wine and sugar, but I did it!

I learned that I can survive without alcohol, even at social events… and that some sparkling water or La Croix with a dash of liquid stevia and squeeze of lemon juice is DELICIOUS.

I learned how to eat more mindfully, and loved giving my body the best possible food. I learned how to enjoy every single bite or sip instead of mindlessly eating crap that I didn’t even truly want.

I learned how to give up emotional eating! Because of the boundaries and structure I had in place, every time I was tempted to mindlessly take a sip of Ben’s beer or dig into the ice cream in the freezer, I could check myself and tune into what I was TRULY craving. Learning how to process emotions in positive ways instead of numbing and suppressing them with food is a skill I want to help all women master, because it feels so incredible and freeing.

I learned that I need to have snacks on hand when I’m out and about (apple slices and almonds are my go-to’s!) to balance my energy throughout the day. Food is fuel! When you’re eating pure unprocessed nutrient-dense foods, your metabolism will burn right through them, so it’s ok to feel like you’re eating more.

I learned that I can live without sugar and dessert, so in the future it will be a lot easier for me to pass on the desserts, and fully savor and enjoy a glass of really good wine.

Getting results doesn’t have to be “all or nothing” and that 30 minute workouts are really all you need. Stop abusing your body and slaving away with hours of exercise … stop feeling like you’re never doing enough and always need to be burning more calories or working out harder and longer. When you give your body time to rest and recover, you’ll actually see more changes, and you’ll also have the energy to enjoy your life.

I learned that it’s ok to follow the modifier when I couldn’t keep up with the moves, and it’s ok to feel weak. Feeling weak doesn’t mean you’re weak -- it means that you’ve found your edge and have room to improve and become stronger! It’s something to CELEBRATE, not beat yourself up over.

Tips for success

• You have to go all in for yourself. Don't leave ANY room for excuses to creep in. Trust yourself, and trust that you can do anything for 21 days!
• Stay hydrated. Water is so important... I love making infused water with ginger, mint, and lemon.
• Start slow! Use light weights and the modifier to master the moves. Form is SO important than being a hero, especially if you’re working out at home without a trainer to give you adjustments and tips. Trust me - even modifying the moves you’ll feel it the next day!

Here was my approach:

Week 1 - light weights, follow the modifier

Week 2 - increase weights, try the regular moves if you’ve mastered form, add the 10 min abs twice a week

Week 3 - challenge and push yourself while honoring your limits

• Make sure to warm up and stretch before and after the workout. I didn’t feel like the warm up and stretches were sufficient, you only get 2-3 minutes at either end of the workout, and there aren’t any “off” days with this program, just “active rest” days with Pilates and Yoga that will still challenge your muscles. On most days I went outside for a quick walk or jog around the block to warm up, and I also tried to foam roll a couple times a week to recover. You can also substitute a yoga class or longer yoga routine for the 30 minute yoga day.

21 Day Fix Extreme FAQ’s

Should I do the 21 Day Fix or 21DF Extreme?

I always recommend starting with the original 21 Day Fix if you’ve never done it before, because it will lay a really solid foundation and teach you the basics of the portion control system. If you’ve been working out consistently for several months, have mastered other programs, and are looking to take your results to the next level, then Extreme might be for you. IT’S HARD. I still had to follow the modifier by the end for some of the moves, and sometimes I couldn’t even finish the whole set WITH modifications. Don’t let your ego choose for you or you’ll end up injuring yourself and feeling defeated.

If you want to talk about your goals or chat about the best program for you, shoot me a message!

Do I have to do Shakeology?

You don't HAVE to, but it will make your experience a lot more delicious, help you eliminate sugar cravings, give you TONS of energy, and make sure your body is getting all the micro-nutrients it needs. So in other words, it's worth it!

Will I feel hungry or deprived?

You might feel hungry at first as your body adjusts, but I didn’t really have any issues and I LOVE FOOD. If your energy dips, you can eat an extra piece of fruit or bump up to the next calorie bracket to make sure you’re fueling your body properly! In terms of feeling deprived -- that’s more of a mindset thing. Focus on what you CAN eat, and remind yourself you’re not saying “no,” you’re just saying “not right now” to indulgent treats.

Are the results maintainable?

Yes! I wrote a blog post about how to maintain your results and use the 21 Day Fix as a lifestyle plan here.

I’m super lazy and unmotivated, will I be able to do this?

It’s only 21 days -- seriously that’s such a short period of time and it’s going to fly by. Less than a month!

Can I do this while pregnant/breastfeeding?

Ask your doctor, but it’s likely! If you’re breastfeeding, you’ll usually bump up your calorie bracket and eat extra food, but still in the propor portions and ratio of protein/carbs/fat.

Can I do this program and train for a race at the same time?

I’m not a trained professional so I can’t give advice except to listen to your body. Personally, I would never add additional workouts or runs to an intense program like this because its designed to push your body to its limits… however if you wanted to EXCHANGE the cardio workouts for runs that would probably be ok. Just make sure you’re adjusting your calorie bracket accordingly, because it’s designed for 30 minute workouts and you want to be very careful to fuel properly to avoid injury or damaging your metabolism.

I think this program might be my fave. I love the balance of different workouts, love that they're SHORT yet challenging, and I LOVE the results I've gained on the inside and out. Being healthy is about so much more than weight. Your body will naturally assume its healthy weight when you're treating yourself with love and respect, so let's stop beating ourselves up and start to actually nourish and respect our bodies and minds.

If you want me to coach you through this program (or try the original Fix!), I’d love to support you.

"I feel so confident and free from feeling trapped in what seemed for so long to be a hopeless pattern of ‘letting myself go’ when it came to my fitness and nutrition. I can’t even begin to say how thankful I am that I found Anna on Instagram and signed up for my first Challenge. It has been such a game changer and has renewed my hope and excitement in life!” -Rebecca K.

If I can do this, you can too!

xo Anna