Self Employment || Month One

It's a dark and rainy Friday morning and I'm sitting in our big oversized comfy chair wrapped in a fluffy blanket with my coffee, wearing my workout clothes because at some point I'm going to muster the motivation to make it to the gym for some endorphins. But for a little while I just want to sit here, soaking in the peace and quiet, and reflect on the crazy whirlwind that has hit me recently.

It's officially been one month since my last day at the zoo.

At the end of the summer I decided to take a huge leap and quit my full time job to be a small business owner/creative entrepreneur/life adventurer. I like to think that this is not the craziest thing I've ever done, because after five years of living in seven different cities, cross country moves, long-distance, and seemingly unending phases of being broke and funemployed, Ben and I are finally starting to slowly settle into a comfortable and stable place, so this decision wasn't actually a huge financial risk. I guess I'm simply unable to stay too comfortable for too long.

Even though I know that this is the right decision for my life and that it will work out for the long term, the last month has been a crazy and tumultuous ride. Being part of two back-to-back weddings definitely added to the emotional chaos, but being able to control my own schedule and work from wherever I am has been amazing.

When I left my job, I didn't expect to feel so vulnerable, unsettled, and thrown off. I assumed that once I could finally spend all my time on my "passion projects" and not have to cram them into early mornings, lunch hours, and late nights, I'd feel amazingly liberated and attain a sense of balance and fulfillment. That hasn't necessarily been the case. When you suddenly leave a job that you've held for over a year, and leave the people with whom you've been spending 40 hours a week of your life to work from home all by yourself and be responsible for your own success without a comfortable system in place telling you what to do, well, it's kind of a shock to the system. I've been lucky to have never experienced a bad break-up, but I almost felt like I broke up with my department. You tell yourself, oh it's ok we'll still be friends and I'll come visit and we'll hang out all the time and see each other more, but in reality life is fast and time moves on. Everyone is engrossed in their own little bubble of busy reality and it takes intentional action to make things happen.

Things I'm learning:

-to trust my intuition
-to believe in myself and the worthiness of my dreams
-that I don't have to have everything figured out all at once
-good things take time
-routine is necessary
-my energy slumps in the early afternoon, so that's a good time to get out for a walk (or watch an episode of Revenge guilt free)
-getting out of the house is the key to happiness
-I need to work harder at establishing work/life boundaries (difficult when I have lots of late night calls and webinars)
-I can't wait until I'm "inspired" to get shit done

The urgent physical feeling of "positive anxiety" is something new that I've discovered and have had to accept as a more or less constant part of my life now. I've been making myself extremely vulnerable by sharing my story, jumping into a marketing and networking-based career as an introvert, and turning my life into my work. I'm trying to channel that anxiety into inspiration and the motivation to keep waking up every morning and making progress on my goals, because fear and excitement give your stomach the exact same butterfly sensation. It's up to your mind to decide if those butterflies are good or bad.

What I'm discovering from my own experiences (and also my friends and peers) is that the "late twenties" is the phase in life to question your path, try new things, and figure out what makes you truly happy, what motivates you to jump out of bed in the morning and tackle each new day with courage and excitement despite the nagging doubts and fear. Don't settle for a certain path just because it's there. If there's anything that you've been wanting to do but have been putting off due to fear, insecurity, or simply because it's not "what people do," I challenge you to just take one baby step towards that ultimate dream, no matter how crazy it seems. Don't use time as an excuse, because we all have the same 24 hours in the day--what you do with them is up to you and your priorities. Time will pass no matter what, so you might as well spend it on creating a reality that you're in love with.

Say "yes" to your heart. Always live on the edge of your comfort zone. Accept the good butterflies, lean into the fear, and throw caution to the wind. If you chase your true authentic self, everything else will start to fall into place and opportunities and people will arise out of thin air to support you. It takes a lot of drive, hard work, persistence and consistency, and you will have moments of doubt that knock you down and bring you to your knees, but it kind of feels like magic when you have a random  moment when things all seem to be falling into place. For me, there is no other path than this one that I'm bushwhacking for myself out of the infinite possibilities of the future.

Here's to month two!

Sirloin Roast with Brussels and Sweet Potatoes

Oh hi October! Where did you come from?

Cooler weather means it's time to turn on the oven and roast ALL THE THINGS! I've been all about the simple, fast, fool proof, healthy weeknight dinners lately. Tonight I whipped up a beef sirloin roast with balsamic-honey glazed Brussels sprouts and caramelized sweet potatoes!

I found this pre-seasoned sirloin roast at Aldi's, you can also do a pork loin roast. I just put it in a small pan and roasted according to the package directions (450* for 30-40 mins).

On the side, I sliced up two sweet potatoes, coated them in olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic salt, and roasted along with the beef. I also dumped a bag of Brussels sprouts into a third pan and coated them with a drizzle of olive oil, salt and pepper, garlic salt, balsamic vinaigrette, and a little bit of honey.

Flip the sweet potatoes after 15 minutes, and remove them when they're getting browned. Mine took about 20-25 minutes total. The brussels sprouts and beef took the full 35 minutes.

Let the beef rest for 5 minutes before slicing. Then plate up and enjoy!

(Come visit my Facebook page for more of my simple healthy recipes!)

21 Day Fix: 1 yellow, 1 green, 1 red

ginger sage butternut squash soup with sausage

Happy Autumn! I am so happy that soup and comfort food season has arrived!

There's a quick backstory to this recipe. Bear with me.

Is there anything out there that for some reason you really really really think you "should" start doing, but no matter how hard you try it's a huge struggle?

For example, I remember for YEARS I wanted to get into the routine of weekly meal planning so I could make one grocery list and stick to it. Have you ever struggled with this? It always seemed impossible and I'd end up going grocery shopping multiple times a week and purchasing way too many impulse buys. Well, one day I realized that I'd started meal planning without even realizing it! I don't remember when it started, but now every weekend I go through my latest Cooking Light magazine, cookbooks, and Pinterest boards and pick a few new recipes that I want to try. It's just a habit and I barely think twice about it! I'm not sure if it actually saves us money since I am a compulsive new recipe hoarder and we both eat so much food...but it at least makes the weekdays flow a little smoother because we always know what's for dinner.

Anyway.

The point of this story is that for the past several months I've had this nagging urge to start blogging more of my own recipes. I'm obsessed with collecting recipes from blogs, Pinterest, cookbooks, and magazines, but half the time I end up putting my own spin on it anyway. Ben is the opposite--cooking is like chem lab for him and he has to diligently measure out every 1/2 tsp of oil, but I like to get inspiration from a recipe and then go with my intuition and freestyle the rest of the way.

I take photos of all my dinners to post on Instagram, so I know that it won't take much extra time to jot down the recipe and throw it up here. I'm making it happen! And I'm also sharing recipes on my Facebook page. So excited! Start turning those "should do's" into action!

My preferred style of dinner is a fast, simple, and healthy one-pot meal. I love soup and I'm so happy the weather is finally cooling off so it feels like soup season! I also love butternut squash so this had to be my first official soup of the fall. Squash is usually a huge death-defying pain to peel and chop so I skipped those parts all together and roasted it in the peel. Just make sure you plan ahead enough to get the squash in the oven about 45-60 mins before you want to eat. If you're running short on time you can chop it in advance and cook it in the microwave.

Ginger Sage Butternut Squash Soup with Sausage

Serves 3-4

-1 butternut squash

-1 T coconut oil

-1 red onion, chopped

-4 cloves garlic, minced

-2 tsp fresh ginger, minced

-4 c veggie or chicken broth

-1 tsp fresh rosemary

-1 T fresh sage

-salt and pepper to taste

-2 links Italian turkey sausage

Preheat oven to 350*. 

Slice squash in half lengthwise, scoop out the seeds, and set the seeds aside to roast!

Place squash cut-side down in a baking pan filled with 1/2" water, and bake for 30-35 minutes, or until the squash is soft enough to be easily pierced with a fork. Allow squash to cool for a little bit and then scoop it out of the peel with a spoon.

(To roast the seeds: squish them out of the squash goop with your fingers, combine with 1T olive oil and 1/2 tsp salt, and bake at 350* for 10-12 minutes stirring and watching constantly because they burn fast!)

While the squash is baking, heat coconut oil in a large pot or Dutch oven and cook the onion until transclucent. Add the garlic and ginger and cook an additional 1-2 minutes. Pour in the broth, add the squash and herbs, and cook for about 5 minutes. Puree with an immersion blender (or CAREFULLY transfer into a food processor). Taste the soup to see if it needs any salt or pepper. 

While soup is simmering, slice the turkey sausage into coins and cook in a skillet.

Serve the soup topped with sausage, sage, and seeds!