Anna Maria Locke

healthy happy holidays

3 ways to manage stress without eating your feelings

2017Anna Locke

Disclaimer: I am not a medical or mental health professional. This post constitutes my personal experience and opinions and is geared towards women who have an otherwise healthy relationship with food and their bodies. If you experience binging or suspect you have an eating disorder, please reach out for help!

If you’ve ever found yourself elbow deep in a box of cereal, popcorn bag, running through the drive thru for fries, or polishing off a sleeve of Oreo’s before you even notice what you’re doing...

First of all, there's no reason to feel guilty or ashamed. You are hardly alone! Most women deal with stress eating (or emotional eating) from time to time.

Stress eating is a habit if you can’t NOT imagine yourself heading to the drive thru for fries or ice cream if you are feeling down. When you’re triggered, it’s your immediate and first reaction.

Feeling overwhelmed. Stuff snacks in face.

It's hard to stop eating your emotions because you can’t just break the habit cold turkey. First of all, it’s a completely automatic behavior ingrained in your subconscious, and if you DIDN’T soothe yourself with food you’d feel like a completely deprived emotional wreck, which would only make your stress worse.

When we emotionally eat or binge, we're actually using this behavior as self care to protect ourselves from negative or uncomfortable emotions we'd rather not face.

YES! Emotional eating is self care! It's just probably not the best way to take care of yourself. 

So how do we start to overcome our emotional or stress eating habits?

First of all, you have to give yourself permission to actually feel your feelings.

You can't eat or drink them away. Just because you're numbing with food doesn't mean the stress is disappearing, but by allowing ourselves space to physically and mentally process our emotions or get to the bottom of where our stress is coming from in the first place, it WILL pass! It's like the opposite of that Gandalf scene.

Once you start to feel your feels, there are so many positive ways to deal with stress or negative feelings in order to flip them into higher vibes.

Another disclaimer: if your feelings are too overwhelming for you to handle alone or stem from a traumatic experience, pleeeeease see a counselor or therapist! You deserve to heal and feel your best, and you deserve the help you need.

When it comes to replacing emotional eating with a more positive behavior, we need to first RECOGNIZE when it happens and then REPLACE the habit with one that's more nurturing so you can keep food in its rightful place in your life.

Food is delicious. Food is fuel. Food is energy. Food is celebration of life!! 

Here are a few non-food ways to manage stress if you want to stop eating your feels!

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3 NON FOOD ways to manage stress

1. Get outside for a walk.

Even if it’s just 5 minutes around your house or office!

This is the best way to chillax because usually when we’re feeling stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed, it’s because we’re overstimulating ourselves with too many tasks, responsibilities, browser windows, notifications, to-do’s, etc all at once.

Getting out into nature immediately calms your nervous system, removes you from a stressful situation, and helps you gain clarity and perspective on your priorities for the day.

Getting your body into MOVEMENT (a brisk walk) will channel and release any negative energy.

Remember that anxiety = energy. We have to give it a place to go!

If you can get sweaty and workout, even better.

Visualize what that would feel and look like >> Feelings of stress triggered. Instantly lace up shoes and hit the sidewalk.

2. Do a pen to paper braindump.

Again...most overwhelm comes from holding EVERYTHINGGGG we need to do over the next week/month/year plus potential ideas plus conversations plus fears like “am I good enough?” plus re-hashing past events in our brain all at once.

Putting pen to paper and literally dumping everything in your brain is so cathartic.

Don’t censor or judge yourself, don’t try to organize a to-do list, just LET IT OUT. Take as long as you need.

If you start writing tasks, break them down into every step involved in that task.

Once your brain is dumped, you should already feel better, but to take this to the next level of calm, now you can organize your braindump!

1. Categorize things, e.g. To-Do’s, Fears, Random thoughts/ideas, Negative inner critic chatter

2. Look at your lists and ask yourself “Is this something I need to release (e.g. fear) or something I need to take action on? What is a ‘should do’ vs. a ‘must do?’ What can I delegate? What ‘should’s’ can I let go of?”

3. For all the ‘must do’ or ‘want to do’ action items, schedule them on your calendar! Now you don’t just have an overwhelming guilt inducing to-do list. You have a PLAN.

Visualize what that would feel and look like >> Feelings of stress triggered. Instantly grab a pen and paper and let it out!

3. Use music to flip your mood.

It’s so easy to forget how powerful music can be! Make a playlist on iTunes or Spotify of all your favorite happy songs. I have an ongoing playlist and whenever I hear a song that makes me happy, I add it!

Bonus: have a solo dance party to your music. Because stress = energy and we need to give it a place to go to release it! Yes you might look crazy or stupid. Laugh at yourself!

Visualize what that would feel and look like >> Feelings of stress triggered. Instantly press play on your “happy mix” and dance it out.

Empower yourself to process your feelings, then move forward and upward instead of dwelling in a rut.

Remember that making deep changes in our mindset and behaviors can't happen overnight, so practice practice practice and have tons of self compassion and patience with yourself through the process of change. You will have setbacks, that’s not a sign that you failed, it’s a sign that you are leveling up!

xo Anna

Disclaimer: I am not a medical or mental health professional. This post constitutes my personal experience and opinions and is geared towards women who have an otherwise healthy relationship with food and their bodies. If you suspect you have an eating disorder, please reach out for help!

how to recover when you feel burned out

December 2015Anna LockeComment

Every person needs to take one day away. A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future. Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence. Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us. 

(Maya Angelou)

 

I know that we’re in the middle of a crazy busy time of year.

I know that you have a billion and one things on your to-do list.

I know you're an overachiever who loves to make plans and take on projects at work, in your personal life, and why not throw a holiday party for your friends while we’re at it?

I know you push yourself every day to be better, to improve, to work towards becoming your happiest, healthiest self.

I know this has been an intense year, emotionally and energetically draining.

And I want you to know…

It’s ok to slow down and relax.

 

It’s ok to take time off.

It’s ok to spend a lazy weekend being unproductive.

It’s ok to skip a few days of your workout routine.

It’s ok to do yoga or stretching instead of blasting through an intense cardio session.

It’s ok to take a few days off your clean eating regimen and eat the damn cookies.

It’s ok to put your giant dreams and aspirations and life plans to the side until January.

 

It’s ok.

 

I’m learning through experience that if we don’t take time out to recharge, we end up burning out. We’re human, not robots! We can’t expect to operate at max capacity day in and day out and give all our energy away to our jobs, workouts, family, friends, and responsibilities without spending equal time resting to replenish those energy stores.

I’m a natural achiever and striver, always looking for what’s next, always looking for ways to improve and grow and become a better version of myself, but one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned (the hard way) this year is that it’s just as important to let ourselves back off and rest.

If we ignore the signals our body is giving us, it will eventually break down on its own.

I’m not a medical professional, but I have a theory as to why we all get sick this time of year. Yes, it’s partly because there are more viruses going around, but I think the main reason is that our immune systems crash because it’s the end of the year and we’re all overworking, stressed out with work, personal, and family issues, and trying to mentally and emotionally wrap up and wind down another year.

I almost never get sick, but the week before Thanksgiving I came down with a cold, and the annoying congestion has been hanging around in my head ever since. This physical breakdown is coming at the same time as a winding-down (ok...crashing!) of my mental and emotional energy too.

What I've been completely ignoring is the fact that I’ve been operating on full steam ahead for almost two years, so I’m taking this burnout as a sign to slow down. I’m laying off a lot of self-imposed pressure and attachment to goals and am finally cutting myself some slack.

Lots of lazy time, listening to my body instead of my head, eating what I feel like, unplugging more, sleeping in, going on runs to clear my head instead of obsessing over my workout schedule, drinking lots of tea, and really honoring my energy instead of pushing through.

Last weekend Ben and I drove home to central Illinois to visit my family since we spent Thanksgiving up here in Chicago with Ben’s side of the fam.

It was a much needed break, and reminded me that I need to make an effort to get out of the city every once in a while to recharge!

I gave myself permission to NOT check my email, worry about my business, or work on scarves for my Etsy shop.

Instead, I remained zen through an extra hour of rush hour traffic as we left the city on Friday night, stopped at McDonald's for dinner and drank a Coke Zero for the first time in about a year (plus fries and an ice cream cone), drank mulled wine with my sister and her new boyfriend, went for a frosty morning hike with my brother, returned to my high school for my little sister's Christmas band concert, ate way too many cookies, read, ignored my phone, and celebrated our family's Dutch holiday tradition, Sinterklaas.

It was just what I needed to reconnect with myself and recharge, and now I feel completely calm and relaxed heading into the last two weeks before our Christmas roadtrip.

I know that whatever gets done will get done. Whatever DOESN'T get done won't result in anyone dying. I know my energy and mojo will return when I'm ready for it. My anxiety that was peaking last month has gone away (for now). And I actually feel excited about life again!

Signs you’re burning out

-You feel constantly overwhelmed

-You’re always thinking about your to-do list

-If you do have unstructured free time (like on the weekends) you don’t know how to relax, so you fill it up with more errands and work.

-Your brain won’t stop spinning at night, or when you try to be quiet and still.

-You can’t sit through a sermon at church without thinking about your grocery list or things to accomplish.

-When you skip a workout you feel guilty and anxious, and feel pressured to “make it up” later.

-It’s hard to deal with little upsets and daily obstacles without having an emotional breakdown.

-You feel like you don’t have control over your life or time.

-You’re constantly on edge, and feel like you’re missing out on something important.

-Eventually your body might shut down and you’ll get sick with a cold or the flu.

It’s easy to glorify being “busy,” and super tempting to just grab another cup of coffee and push through when life gets overwhelming.

STOP PUSHING THROUGH.

Instead, force yourself to step back. Cancel your evening plans and take a bubble bath. Go to bed early. Sleep in. Take care of yourself!

So how do we avoid a physical/mental/emotional burnout? I’m not sure yet. I’m definitely still working on learning how to connect with my energy.

I do know how to bounce back though!

Simply allow yourself to rest. This is a perfect time of year to retreat into hermit mode.

You’ve been working hard all year, give yourself time to absorb all the changes and growth.

LAY OFF THE PRESSURE!

You are doing MORE than enough.

You are enough.

xo Anna

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tips for a healthy, happy Thanksgiving!

November 2015Anna LockeComment

I wrote this letter to my private coaching clients, but I wanted to share it on the blog too!

Dear beautiful girl,

It's Thanksgiving Eve, my in-laws are coming into town tonight, and I'm sitting on the couch typing this email while Ben is frantically cleaning and dusting (he is such a good hubby, hahahaha).

Since Thanksgiving is a food holiday I know it can bring on some stress revolving around emotional eating, food guilt, over-eating, not to mention all the family drama you might be headed into!

So I want to give you permission to take a deep breath and TURN OFF all your food judgements, labels, "clean eating" mentality, and pressure.

This is not about figuring out how to have a "21 Day Fix approved" (or even TIU approved) holiday, or making "healthy alternatives" of your fave treats. 

This is not about worrying about binging or ruining all your progress, or being afraid you'll set yourself back and go down the dark spiral of uncontrolled eating and holiday weight gain. (I've got you, girl!! You know that!)

This IS about focusing on the reason for the season.

Family, friends, and gratitude.

We live in a scary scary world these days, and the last thing we need is to put more fear and bad vibes on ourselves. So let's focus on love. Self love, family love, gratitude for the blessing of waking up every single day with the choice to move our bodies, the freedom to do what we want, and the abundance of our pumpkin spice latte-fueled country we are so lucky to live in.

You are so so so lucky, blessed, and LOVED, beautiful girl.

(source)

Tips for a Healthy, Happy Thanksgiving!

1. Make sure to eat a BIG healthy breakfast Thursday morning! 

May I suggest some pumpkin cranberry oatmeal? You'll need energy to carry you through the day, and if your blood sugar is stable you'll be less likely to overeat later.

Whatever you do, do NOT restrict calories to "make room" for your big meal...treat it like a normal day with some extra treats! Friends don't let friends live hangry.

2. Get your body moving first thing! Sneak in a 20-30 minute workout.

I recommend getting outside for a power walk or run to clear your head, have some alone time, and give yourself a chance to think and reflect on everything you're grateful for!

A 30 minute weight circuit (21 Day Fix or try a Hammer and Chisel sneak peek on Beachbody On Demand!) is also a good option, because strength training will boost your metabolism for the rest of the day.

3. Choose your intention for the day and let go of black and white "good or bad" rules.

What's your greatest value? Health, joy, pleasure?

Make choices based on that value!

4. Put your appetizers on a plate! Be careful not to mindlessly snack to calm your nerves or numb your anxiety, esp if you're an introvert like me!

5. Drink a glass of water in between each glass of wine or cocktail.

6. At the big meal, fill your plate with 75% salad and veggies.

7. Use the "three bite rule" for starchy or more indulgent sides.

Take only enough to eat three bites and enjoy EVERY SINGLE BITE! If you want more of your faves, go back for another small 3 bite scoop. This will prevent you from mindlessly over-eating the stuffing and sides that will make your tummy feel blerg. PLUS we want to save room for pie!!!

8. ENJOY! This holiday only comes once a year, so live it up!

Food is simply a vehicle that allows you to have energy to go out into your day. It's body and soul nourishment, part of our life and society, and enjoyment is a huge aspect of it!

Travel safe if you're on the road, and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

xo Anna

p.s. Are you spending some time traveling or in the car? Make sure to listen to Jess Lively's latest podcast episode on intuitive eating through the holidays! And then let me know your takeaways :)

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