Jamaica travel recap!

You know after any truly initiating experience that you are part of a much bigger whole. Life is not about you henceforward, but you are about life.

(Richard Rohr)

I spent all last week at a private villa in southwest Jamaica with eleven of the top leaders on my coaching team on an all-expenses paid adventure.

It was a surreal trip that felt like a dream, and now I'm back in gloomy cold Chicago, it's hard for me to wrap my mind and heart around everything that happened. It's going to take me a long time to process it all, but I wanted to share my experience and main takeaways just to show what's possible when you take a chance on your dreams and work hard :) 

We spent the week laughing, crying, learning, supporting each other, adventuring, eating, drinking, and masterminding from sunrise until late into the night. Yes, we totally felt like we were on The Real World. It was kind of hilarious.

I feel completely changed and transformed on the inside, like the "old Anna" who made excuses and held back and over-analyzed everything and let her insecurities and anxiety get the best of her is completely gone and replaced with this "new Anna" who is super confident, capable, and ready to take on the year.

It's super weird.

Needless to say I learned a TON about my business, myself, and life in general. 

Before I dive into the deep stuff, I'll start by sharing some pretty pictures, because it's January and we could all use a dose of sunshine!

We stayed at the Bluefields Villas in Bluefield Bay, which is on the south shore of the island opposite of Montego Bay described as a "5 Star Country Retreat on the Sea." I can't gush enough about our experience at the villa. We had our own private staff who treated us like royalty, and the villa itself was gorgeous, decorated like a colonial plantation house. Every meal was served on china and crystal with silver utensils, Downton Abbey style. SO CRAZY!

Prior to this trip, my only experience and knowledge of Jamaica consisted of what I learned by watching Cool Runnings (I know, I know), and I was surprised to find that the area we visited was basically rainforest. Lots of huge mountains, valleys, lush vegetation, and brightly colored concrete houses dotting the roads and hills. Other than that, Cool Runnings pretty much sums Jamaica up! Friendly people who welcome you like long lost relatives, so much positivity, national pride, and good vibes. It's easy to fall in love with the island, the people, and the cuture, especially since it's such a stark contrast to the anxiety-inducing busybusy rush and stress of  life in Chicago.

How did I get to go on this dream vacay?

My team leaders and mentors Robb and Chelsea decided to gift this trip to the top 10 coaches on our team in 2015. I actually didn't officially qualify for the top 10 (see previous post on failing to reach goals...) so when they called to tell me I had a spot as a back-up and they wanted me to be there (insert screaming and crying on my end), I couldn't believe it...and to be honest it was kind of hard the first couple days to believe I actually deserved to be on this trip with coaches who are much more experienced and "successful" than me at running their own businesses and huge teams. 

My whole life I've struggled a little with feelings of worthiness, insecurity, and comparing myself to others, and I'm still trying to get over placing my sense of self worth and value on external achievements. So when I first started coaching, I had a tendency to place leaders and more successful coaches on pedestals.

But I'm learning that's a silly and unnecessary thing to do, and that brings me to my Takeaway #1 from this trip.

WE ARE ALL THE SAME

We're all human, we all only have one chance at life, and we're all doing this life thing for the very first time. Everyone is on a journey and everyone's journey is unique, but fundamentally we're all the same.

Being successful on the outside says nothing about the quality of your spirit on the inside.

We had the incredible opportunity to visit a primary school of 3-5 year olds, and watching their limitless happiness and joy as they played in their schoolyard with old tires and broken jump ropes was a humbling wake-up call. We all have the capacity to feel gratitude and joy, no matter what our external circumstances look like.

So instead of putting people you admire on pedestals, raise your own pedestal so you can look across at them on the same level. When you view someone as they are, just another broken, flawed human being on a journey, you'll open yourself to the vulnerability of TRUE connection, and learn so much more about yourself in the process.

WE ARE LIMITLESS

Why do we play small and hold ourselves back from feeling happy, doing what we actually want, and chasing our dreams? Mainly fear. Fear of not being good enough. Of failure. Of judgement and "what people will think." 

I'm slowly learning to believe in my dreams, and I'm gaining the courage to dream bigger and bigger.

One of the things I learned from spending time with some crazy successful coaches is that life is limitless.

Possibility is limitless.

We don't live in a box.

If we want more of anything from life, whether it's more love, money, impact, time to travel, time with family, friends, happiness...we can change, take action, and receive it.

It's ok to feel good.

It's ok to be happy and successful.

It's ok to shift our mindset from the constant struggle-bus to one of gratitude for the abundance that we already have.

It's also ok for your life (or biz) to look like it's plateauing on the outside, because you're probably still changing and growing on the inside.

Feeling stuck, trapped, or overwhelmed is ALL IN YOUR MIND, a figment of your imagination.

When you start to expose yourself to people who are doing the things you long to do...don't be jealous. Be inspired, because you can do it too. There's no limit to the love, abundance, and success available to us in the world.

Get out there and chase your dreams!

Set some goals, then raise the bar 500%. We're all capable of so much more than we think.

IT'S SAFE TO GO OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE

OHHHHH man. Where do I even start with this one. 

The entire trip was basically one giant leap out of my comfort zone after another. It was the first time I've ever traveled internationally by myself, without Ben.

1. The Luggage Debacle

One of my biggest fears is that I won't be adequately prepared for something. When I was planning our wedding, my nightmares revolved around me showing up at the church without my dress, or without having had the time to finish planning and making everything perfect.

So I landed in Jamaica, and my luggage didn't come out of the chute.

It turns out my bag got mis-routed and ended up in MEXICO. What the heck, luggage?? It's rum punch, not tequila time!

I didn't have my luggage for 2 full days in a strange country. It was a HUGE lesson in releasing control and having faith that things will work out, that I'm resilient enough to survive even if my biggest fears come true, and that we don't actually need STUFF to be happy and appreciate being in a new environment.

Luckily I was staying with 10 women who are all around my size and all overpacked, so it was also a lesson in being able to receive help!

2. Waterfall Chasing

We also made an excursion to YS Falls, which is basically a scene straight out of Avatar! Lush jungle, hanging vines, sunlight filtering through the greenery, and levels upon levels of gushing waterfalls. We were able to walk through the falls and jump off rope swings into the water!

3. The Lively Show Interview!

The most surreal day of the trip for me was Thursday, when I was featured on MY FAVORITE PODCAST OF ALL TIME, The Lively Show! I mean, as if this trip wasn't epic enough!

Jess reached out to me a few weeks ago to ask if I'd be willing to share my experience and takeaways with her e-course Live With Intention Online, which I've taken twice now.

Ummmmm YES!!!!

I've been listening to The Lively Show for over two years, ever since I first started coaching and decided I wanted to quit my job, and listening to the inspiring stories of the successful creative entrepreneurs Jess interviews has given me so much encouragement along my own path. To be able to be on the other side, full circle, and share my OWN story meant everything.

The interview went live Thursday and we piped it through speakers on our little island in the middle of the Caribbean and listened in the sunshine. Being able to share this moment with my team who completely 100% understands me, gets where I've come from, and shares my obsession with personal development was incredible...I was literally shaking with so much emotion I haven't felt since our wedding day, ha!

Sharing my story and message with such a huge audience was the scariest but most LIBERATING thing I've ever done.

You can check out the episode HERE! Let me know what you think :)

4. Cliff Jumping (because I can't just live inside metaphors and Pinterest quotes...)

On Thursday afternoon, we decided to have an adventure and drive to Negril to check out some of the touristy bars.

Our main stop was Rick's Cafe, which apparently is legendary for its 35 foot cliff you can jump off.

It felt like the biggest day of my life...so I felt like I had no other option but to take the leap, right?

HOLY crap, that was super scary. And painful. Glad I did it, glad I never have to do it ever again! (And yeah I have what the locals call the "Rick's Cafe Trademark" on my butt to prove it happened).

DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

Final lesson?

Life is SO much better when you live by the code of doing what makes you happy and surround yourself with people who have a positive mindset and support you.

Have you ever taken a few minutes to envision and write down your "perfect day?" (I highly recommend!)

This trip was literally a series of my perfect day (minus Ben).

Wake up at sunrise to journal and read. Workout or go hike a mountain, get a little bit of work done, maybe go on an adventure, and relax with my favorite people. Eat a long leisurely wine soaked dinner outside and talk about deep subjects like visions and dreams under the stars until bedtime.

Rinse and repeat...throwing in a tropical location just amps up the experience!

I am overwhelmed with gratitude right now, and I promise to do my best to take this sunshine and pay it forward.

Time to get back to WERK! One of my main goals for 2016 is to help as many women as I can get out of their own way too and start turning dreams into reality and passion into paychecks.

If I can manifest experiences like this, you can too. If you don't know where to start, reach out! I'd love to hear from you :)

Peace, Love, Respect.

Anna

p.s. wondering how you can get involved with my coaching team and coach mentorships? Click here to shoot me a message!

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what I learned from failing to reach my biggest 2015 goals

Well, we're midway through January and I'm sure you've been inundated with all the goal setting and New Years Resolution motivational messages from every news and social media outlet. 

This post is going to be a little different.

Because with all the energy and positivity and excitement of the new year comes a darker side that no one really talks about, so I want to talk about it! What I mean is the fear, self doubt, overwhelm, and anxiety that crops up as we consider making changes or challenging ourselves to do something we've never done before.

When we're working to change our habits or parts of our lives, we bring to the surface all our insecurities and past failures, and usually end up sabotaging ourselves again by February because heck, if we couldn't do it before what's different this time? And then we hold ourselves back in this endless self fulfilling prophecy and remain stuck in old habits.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not a personal fan of the New Year's Resolution rush. It’s overwhelming and intimidates me.

Everyone’s jumping at the gate to dive into ambitious new projects and fitness challenges while I’m still recovering from the post-holiday emotional let down, trying to combat seasonal blues and darkness.

January doesn't scream FRESH START! for my energy. It’s more of a “shit, it’s cold, I want to hunker down in hermit mode with my cozy blanket in front of the space heater with Netflix and knitting and hibernate until spring, see ya then” type of vibe. Not super conducive to making grand visions and schemes strong and inspiring enough to carry me through the rest of the year.

I don't feel motivated to start new things in January because I’m still processing everything that happened in the year that just ended, and I’m learning that’s ok. It won’t throw off or ruin my entire year if I give myself some extra time to figure out what I want to do, because January 1st isn't the only opportunity we get for a fresh start. Every single day, every single minute, every single breath you take is an opportunity to start over.

The thing is, a whole year is a super long time. It’s almost impossible to plan that far ahead and decide what you’re going to be doing 6, 8, 11 months from now. It's really scary to trust yourself enough to set a long term goal because who knows what will happen! The great unknown is a big obstacle.

I learned a lot last year about how to follow through with goals and intentions and plans. I learned how important it is to make goals that are connected to our values and how we want to feel, instead of what we want to accomplish for the ego boost of checking things off lists. But then I still let my ego decide on two really big stretch goals for 2015 revolving around the size and status of my business and my income.

Isn’t it funny how we ignore our own wisdom and make the same mistakes over and over, like we forgot how much we learned the last time?

So yeah. I set these goals because they sounded good and made me feel super pumped up and inspired on the inside...but then I didn't follow through for myself. In 2015 I ended up falling super far short of both of my biggest career goals, and for a while in October (when it first sunk in that they weren’t going to happen), I stressed out and dealt with a lot of anxiety because I’m terrified of failure.

Could I still love myself if I didn’t reach XYZ milestone in my business? Could I still feel worthy and successful? Was I still good enough? These are literally the exact questions I scrawled into my journal, feeling like I was being torn apart and probably crying a little bit.

One of my biggest, most paralyzing fears is that I’ll never live up to my own expectations.

Part of that fear comes from the fact that I’m a go-getter and an overachiever and tend to set EXTREMELY high expectations for myself, and then fail to reach them because they’re impossible and I’m a perfectionist (if I don’t think be able to do something perfectly the first time, I won’t even try).

So then I burn myself and create even MORE fear that I’ll never be able to reach my dreams or feel happy to just be myself, because I can’t prove to myself that I can accomplish what I set out to do.

The bright side of all this? I learned a LOT about myself, and forced myself to dig deeper and uncover why exactly I failed to follow through with my two biggest business goals.

Why didn’t I achieve my goals?

1. They hinged partially on factors that I had absolutely no control over, like the behaviors and actions of others.

2. I wasn’t ready to do what it would take to reach them.

3. They aligned more with my ego’s need for outside validation to prove my self worth, instead of coming from my actual values.

4. I ignored the fact that my energy moves in cycles, I need periods of rest to balance periods of growth.

5. They relied on me making my business my #1 priority, at the time I was learning I didn’t want to be a workaholic anymore and wanted to relax and enjoy my freaking life for a second.

6. I feel more safe when I’m striving and working towards a goal, because I can tell myself “I’m just working on it” and protect myself from the vulnerabilities of failure. That mentality prevents me from doing the big things I need to do in order to make ACTUAL progress! Self sabotage at its finest.

What I learned from failing to reach my biggest 2015 goals

• It’s hard to actually 100% fully commit to a goal because you have to believe you’re good enough and you deserve it! Fully committing to a goal means that you’re potentially setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. The catch-22 is that failure is actually ONLY POSSIBLE if you don’t even try your best. So by living inside the striving without fully giving ourselves permission to go for it...we automatically fail. Soooo you might as well go for it!
• It’s SO IMPORTANT to focus on gratitude and positivity, and what we can give of ourselves instead of what we can get or do or achieve. I have so much in life to be grateful for...but the better things get, the more we tend to sabotage ourselves and hold ourselves back from just feeling the joy...we make up random stories in our heads to keep ourselves down in the "struggle" when really we were created to be happy. Focus on gratitude, and negative feelings will fade.
• If you fail to reach a goal, it’s possibly because you weren’t ready to do the work. Setting goals is hard and scary and we have to trust that we’ll be able to grow and stretch and evolve to become the person we need to be to reach them. Sometimes we're just not ready. And that is ok.
• LIFE GOES ON! And guess what? We're blessed with another year :)

Remember there's really no rush in the grand scheme of life.

So slow down, find joy in the process, and most of all have fun and give yourself lots of patience and celebrate every single milestone, tiny win, speedbump, and obstacle you face. It all just makes you stronger.

When in doubt, write this over and over in your journal until you start to believe it:

I am still successful, still good enough, and still worthy of sharing and receiving love.

I accept myself for where I'm at, and I promise to show up fully for myself every single day.

xo Anna

2015 in review

(Alternate title for this post: Lessons Learned in my Year of Growing Pains)

Happy New Year!

Can you believe it's already 2016? Because I can't. I feel like I'm hitting that point in life where time starts to blend together and move faster and faster and it's hard to differentiate between separate years. Oh no! Oh well.

I've been procrastinating writing this 2015 recap all week, but I figure I need to get it done while we're still in the first week of the new year so I can officially move on with my life.

If 2014 was the year of outward growth and expansion (quit job! launch and grow coaching biz!), 2015 was my year of inward growth, TRAVEL, personal discovery and comfort zone blasting! It was quite exhausting really. Which is why I've been putting off this recap...I honestly don't want to have to relive it, haha.

2015 was my first full year being self employed, and it's been a wonderful ride.

Last January I decided my word of the year was FOCUS. Here are some of the intentions I set:

A few of the big projects and milestones ahead:

-a new website and blog !!! CHECK! You're on it!

-a more established health and wellness coaching business and team Check check!

-WATERCOLORS IN THE ETSY SHOP (finally, right?) YESSSSS I DID IT! Still need to expand and promote them more, but here's my first collection of printable art!

-a new apartment this summer !!! Check! I still can't believe we found this place...the first time I've felt like I manifested a dream from thin air!

I want to start writing and sharing more of my life again. I feel like I got sucked into the learning and absorbing vacuum this fall, became overwhelmed with everything I felt like I "needed" to know and do, and paralyzed myself with too many conflicting priorities.

2015 is going to be a year of FOCUS and intention. I have a lot of big goals and dreams, and I know I'm capable of making them happen.

This is the power of intentional goal setting in action. When we put our dreams and visions into the universe (or internet), they have a tendency of happening on their own time. It might not be exactly like we expected, and it NEVER happens as quickly as we think it should, but it will all work out.

I had several really big achievement-based goals relating to my business that I EPICALLY failed to reach, but I'm ok with that! It's a story for another post...

This post is for giving thanks and gratitude to the lessons, adventures, experiences, and growth of 2015.

It was a WHAMMY of a year.

source unknown

Word of 2015: FOCUS.

I learned that what you focus on will indeed expand and grow.

I learned this the good way, and also the hard way.

I learned that I needed to focus on myself and my inner journey instead of focusing entirely on growing my business, because our outer lives only grow and expand at the same rate as we grow and expand on the inside. 

WINTER 2015

January and February were the months I pushed my mental and physical limits and learned how to literally travel beyond the edges of my comfort zone.

My biggest triumph: Completing all 60 days of Insanity Max:30!

My proudest accomplishment: Creating a new group coaching program and a new coach training workbook for my team!

Lessons learned: I did Jess Lively's Life With Intention Online and learned how to recognize my ego (aka inner mean girl), started to break up with my achievement-driven way of life that always left me feeling empty and unsatisfied, and slowly started to practice believing that I am already good enough. I did a lot of deep work on my values in life, and that set the tone for pretty much the rest of the year, although I'm still very much a student in all this personal development stuff!

I also added flannel blanket scarves to the Etsy shop,  and went way overboard with trying to set goals and plan out the year. This year I'm definitely backing off the goal setting front and letting things happen on their own.

SPRING 2015

Looking back through my photos, I think spring was my favorite season of the year. It was the season of self discovery and spending time with family and friends.

I started reading The Artist's Way, and learned the transformative power of journaling every single day.

I started working with my first ever amazing life coach Cady, and she helped me dig deep into my potential, insecurities, vulnerabilities, and inner strength.

Ben and I also traveled to Cancun for the Beachbody Success Club trip! It was Ben's first official Beachbody experience, and we spent 5 days at an all-inclusive resort with the top coaches in the network, all earned for free in my first year of coaching...it was INCREDIBLE.

I also spent lots of time hanging out with my girlfriends and Tone It Up community here in Chicago, even getting a chance to meet Karena and Katrina themselves at their book tour!

My family came to visit and we went to the Chicago Flower and Garden show at Navy Pier to get the first glimpse of (indoor) spring.

I invested in Marie Forleo's B-School to learn how to run an online business, and got back to painting!

SUMMER 2015

Summer was for travel and adventures!

I finally launched my first line of printable watercolor art in the Etsy shop. Hurray!

Ben and I met his family in the suburbs for a little reunion to celebrate his late grandmother's 100th birthday.

My partner in crime Katie and I traveled to Peoria to run a Shakeology booth at the Steamboat Classic Expo and also ran the race with most of my family. It was super fun and Katie is now officially adopted into our curly red haired clan. 

Then Ben and I jetted off to Holland for our first trip to Europe together! I'm half Dutch, so we visited lots of family and traveled around several cities. (I guess I still need to finish re-capping our trip!). I hadn't been back since high school, so it was strange to revisit all my childhood memories and share my Dutch heritage with Ben. We ate lots of bread, stroopwafels, pastries, Heineken, and had a blast.

Then it was off to Nashville for Coach Summit with some of the wonderful members of my team! We had so much fun soaking it all in, celebrating, having girls night dinners, working out with Shaun T and Chalene Johnson, and learning so much about how to create authentic and successful coaching businesses. Can't wait to go back this July!

 At the end of the summer Ben and I found our DREAM APARTMENT and moved! We had been in our old apartment for three years, so it was a mega move. I hate moving. It sucks. I'm hoping we can stay here for quite some time!

And I closed out my crazy travel season with a wonderful team retreat in Orlando, my first time in Florida.

FALL 2015

Did I say the end of travel season? Just kidding. I kicked off Fall with a trip to Iowa to visit my college roomie Christine and her new baby girl! I also stopped by my grandma's farm in the Quad Cities.

Later in the fall I flew to Los Cabos, Mexico with my friend Kathleen to celebrate the wedding of our friend Deidre! It was the most stunning wedding, and a great way to unwind and relax for a few days at an all inclusive resort (twice in one year...I will never take my life for granted). 

Ben and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary on October 6th. 

October was an explosion of energy. I couldn't stop writing. My brain wouldn't stop. I started looking for more creative personal development books to guide me.

I went through a rather traumatically explosive inner breakthrough that involved lots of creativity and also lots of anxiety. I created and piloted a 28 day online personal development course called Courageously Authentic with a group of 25 amazing women, and am planning to relaunch it very soon!

I officially completed a 90 DAY fitness program, ChaLean Extreme, and fell in love with strength training and weights. My attitude towards food and my body has completely transformed, and now I workout to push my limits and eat to fuel my energy instead of worrying about calories. 

In November I spent a turbo-charged weekend in Dallas at another Beachbody conference with my awesome team! It's so fun to travel for work these days when conferences are basically super fun girls trips.

As fall turned back into winter, my energy started to go back into hibernation mode and I finally burned out from all the months of comfort zone blasting and personal growth, so I let myself slow my roll a little bit and relax. Enter tea, knitting, and Netflix!

I did launch a new GORGEOUS line of wool and flannel cowls in the Etsy shop and painted some more. 

My mom and sister came up to go to the Christkindl Market (German Christmas Market) in Daley Plaza and we ate warm cinnamon sugar almonds and drank gluhwein. 

As a teacher, Ben got two weeks of Christmas vacation so I decided to unplug and take a break too. We took a huge road trip down to East Tennessee to visit his mom, hiked the Appalachian Trail (ok not the whole trail, but a few miles!), and celebrated Christmas on a warm and rainy day that felt more like spring. Then we drove to Indiana to rendezvous with my side of the family for more feasting and presents and hanging out!

And now we're here, on the cusp of the new year.

Major lessons of 2015

• I finally feel like I'm good enough. I've made huge strides in dealing with my paralyzing perfectionism and performance anxiety!
• I'm at peace with my body. I can't express how amazing this feels. I don't care how much I weigh, I don't care that I have some extra holiday curves, because I know I'm the strongest I've ever been and that is so freaking awesome. I honestly think that since I'm not obsessing about my weight (ditched my scale!) or body image or food, my anxiety turned to my business because it needed an outlet...but I've made major strides with dealing with that too.
• I learned how to identify my "inner mean girl" and stop listening to her.
• I learned that spending time with family and friends is my number one priority in life.
• I LOVE travel, but it wears me out! I don't want to take more than one major trip every 2 months this year.
• I learned how to RELAX and kick my over-achiever to the side. I perfected the art of relaxing so well over the holidays that I'm afraid there's no going back, and I'm finding it hard to muster energy and motivation to go back to work this month! Work/life balance for the win.

What's up for 2015?

I'm not really thinking about it yet. I haven't felt the urge to create many goals and plans, because I kind of want to go with the flow, follow my heart, and see what happens.

I want to spend less time stressing, traveling, and spending energy.

More time relaxing, being, thinking, painting, building relationships, and having fun in my own city. 

I do have a couple of big adventures lined up, so I know it's going to be a good year. 

Cheers to new adventures, friends, and growth!

xo Anna