Anna Maria Locke

autumn state of mind


I didn't intend to take a fall break from blogging, but I apparently just did. Oops! Fall is officially here now. The clouds have set in and there is a beautiful dusting of snow on the highest mountains in my watershed. Ben and I are discovering that the heating system in our vintage apartment basically consists of ancient space heaters inserted into the walls, and you have to fiddle with the circuit breakers to operate the ones downstairs. Ohhhh boy. Luckily I have a lot of fleece and a new thermos!

The past month wasn't the greatest for me, which is why I've been missing here. Nothing in particular happened, but I've been in a mini life rut and my energy has been mysteriously gone. I think a lot of that was due to the change of the seasons... I don't really deal well with transitions, although I always feel better on the other side. The warm, dry, sunny days of summer will be missed, but a large part of me is happier because of the cooler weather and darker days. I can relinquish the anxious desperation that comes with sunshine to GET OUTSIDE and see the world for the calmer satisfaction of relaxed, cozy "inside" things.

Last weekend my parents came out to visit, which also refocused my perspective on current life and grounded me a little bit. As the oldest of four, it is extremely rare to spend uninterrupted one-on-one time with them.  It was nice to explore the area, eat at nice restaurants, and start talking about the wedding that is happening in less than a year now !!!  For the first time, I am excited about wedding planning because concrete ideas are being set in motion and I don't feel so alone about the whole process. Thank you Mama and Papa :)

This is the first autumn that I've been out of school, and it marks a pretty big life transition into the "real world." Like I said, transitions aren't my favorite, but I don't think the changes will ever stop washing over us. And even though I long to feel settled and feel more financially secure I know I can't miss out on this time of growing up and seeing the country with no pets or kids attached. I am learning patience and trying to appreciate each day (sometimes successfully).

Well, that pretty much sums up life lately. 
Except for how working in the woods has sucked with the cold and rain, and has given me a nasty cold that is also draining my energy. Someday I will do a post on where I work, because it is pretty unique.
 I am excited for the weekend and lots of rest!